A middle-aged white woman is walking toward a building, talking on her cellphone to a friend. She says, "Yes, I can meet you for lunch in a few hours. I have to go to the unemployment office to sign up for benefits. It's going to be horrible. It'll probably be full of black people." Standing in line, she is incredibly uncomfortable and horrified, because there is a black man right behind her, and she is stuck standing next to him for a long time. Finally it's her turn, and she steps up to the counter. The clerk asks her, "And what did you do for a living?" She answers, "I mopped the floors and cleaned the bathroom in a Blockbuster store that closed down." The clerk says, "Fill out this paperwork and take it to window #2." As she turns around, she is once more repulsed by the black man who is standing right there. Now that it's his turn, he steps to the counter, and the clerk asks him, "And what did you do for a living?" He answers, "I was the senior vice president of global strategic development for Eastman Kodak."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock, knock. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

So, two people park their car and walk into a bar. Wait, no. They were walking into a grocery store and they were riding skateboards, not a car. Then, the kid walks in after them. Oh, did I forget to mention they had children? And also, they're married. So anyway, they walk into this grocery store, and meet a barkeep. Wait no that's ridiculous why would a barkeep be in a grocery store. Let me start over. Bah.. never mind. I forgot what happened next, but it was REALLY FUNNY!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the little girl fall of the swing? -because she had no arms Why didn't she get back up? -because she had no legs Why diddn't anyone help her? -because she was black.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

yo mamas so old she probably ralises the greater risk of breast cancer in middle age women.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

thumb_up thumb_down +15

There once was a man from Madrass Whose balls were made out of brass This was incredibly uncomfortable and embarrassing for him. It also affected his sexual potency and rendered him infertile, Which drastically affected his ability to enter and sustain relationships with women.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the pornstar do after the film shoot? Called her parents and said she had a good day at work as a receptionist at a law firm. She is too ashamed to admit her real profession to them. She then cried profusely.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the hungry man do? He ate.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Teacher: "What is the outside layer on a tree?" Dog: "Bark" Teacher: "How would you describe the desert surface?" Dog: "Rough" Teacher: "Would you say that Abraham Lincoln was an intelligent man?" Dog: "Yarp"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock, Knock Who's there? Minecraft!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's Chris Benoit up to? Just hangin'

thumb_up thumb_down +13

knock knock

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse, incapable of understanding the human language promptly shits on the floor then leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What has eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs face.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A gay man walks out of his bedroom, rubbing his ass in pain. He says, "I hate it when I slip and fall in the shower."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

how come the jews were not laughing? because they were in a concentration camp

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you make a professional gamer cry? You burn his house down.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red. Violets are blue. and Asians are yellow.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage..

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Three jews walk into a bar. The bar is hosting a bar mitzvah.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was Jessica sad? She had just recently run over a few newborn puppies with her car.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Wanna hear a joke? Yes Then go on the internet and find some jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops