Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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A man is shipwrecked on a desert island. One day, he finds an old lamp. When he rubs it, a genie appears. The genie says, "You have freed me. As a reward, I will grant you three wishes." The man smacks himself in the face and mutters, "Oh god, I'm seeing genies now. I must be delirious from lack of food and water." Several hours later, he dies.

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a black guy with a parrot on his shoulder was walking down the street. another man asked, "where did you get him?" The parrot said, "theres tons of them in africa."

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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CORRECTION TO THE COMMENT BELOW! Its a WIN/WIN/WIN/WINWINWINWINWINWIN (WIN For at least 30 more minutes)/CUUUUM!/"SORE ASS WHINING CHILD Gonna grow into a slut SITUATION!" friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man The Anti-Christ: Do not thumb me down unless you want to feel the big burning hot spear of darkness, and you do not... You better don`t be or become a sore ass kid you allshole if you know what I am saying... Yeah! Thats right! You better fear me! Because the angrier you look... The more offended you become... The better you are starting to look...

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Relax, I said some pretty vile things to you when I thought you where a guy seducing me while it became ever more apparent that you where pretending to be me, thing is I often use this site to vent my frustrations and earning the "praise" in the form of red thumbs by the people. I wont say your name, but I know who you are now, the girl with the big red scared eyes, I mean how many one handed 27 year old`s do I know? I am in my early thirties, that`s all I am willing to share for now, If people come around trying to poke out my remaining eye, I am ready (my waifu, is at her mother`s place, she knows I am still a wanted target by, well some people here and there.

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What's funnier than 24? 25

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Why was Sally crying because a flock Of seagulls just took a shit in her head

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Look in the peephole

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Knock, knock! Who's there? interupting little turtle interupting little tur... LITTLE TURTLE!

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being raped by your uncle

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Adam Chebali goes to war and is quickly killed. The rest of the world rejoices as he can no longer post anti-jokes only he thinks are funny and brag about himself on anti-joke.com.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish

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Knock knock Who's there? Hector Hector who? ....I forgot the rest of the joke but your mom is a whore.

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why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

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How do you call a man in a wheelchair? Disabled.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The pizza delivery guy. Oh hi.

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Why did the man suck at basketball? Because he is white, 5 foot 2, and has no arms. Posted By: Lram

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? Dr. Jeremy Brown, I have your results from the blood test. It's good news they came back negative. Hooray.

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Where did the little boy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Why was the man sleeping. He was tired

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School

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Roses Are Red I Have A Phone Nobody Txts Me Forever Alone

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. *knock knock* -Who's there? -Not Suzy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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