What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being in an abusive relationship.

How many Nazis does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Their domestic handiness was not impeded by their warped sense of entitlement and racial superiority.

Why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a pineapple

Q: What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: A funeral.

Why was there a black guy in the back of a police car? He was caught stealing

What is white on the inside and red on the outside? An apple.

Why did the boy sharpen his pencil it was dull

What did the runner say after he ran 10 miles? I just ran 10 miles.

I just flew here from Cleveland, and boy are my arms tired! The people on either side of me were hogging the armrests, so I had to kind of tuck my arms up behind my head and it was very uncomfortable.

A child logs on to antijoke.com he is a chronic masturbator

What happened when a saxophone hit Sally? She had a concussion.

so there are 2 muffins in an oven,1 says to the other "holy s**t its hot in here!" and the other says,"omg!its a talking muffin!"

I always like to pack a second pair of pants, because if there's one thing my mother ever said to me it was 'please, I'm begging you - don't put me in a home.'

What do you call a blonde who likes to read? A bookworm.

Why are pineapples yellow? 82, piano, bomb, lamp!

Chuck Norris once walked into a strip club, and had quite a nice time indeed!

Viciously beating your children with other recently beaten children.

Q: Why did the black man call the white man a rasict? A:because he called him black.

What was the last thing Batman said to Robin before they got in the Batmobile Robin, get in the Batmobile.

Yo mama is so so skinny, when she sits around the house, she sits comfortably in every chair. - Stephen Colbert

John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farm he was from was near a road. There was a hole in the fence and the chicken got out. He then started wandering and happened to cross the road.

What do a snake and a bird have in common... They both fly, except the snake

roses are red violets are blue however some roses are pink

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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