Why cant steve get a job? Because Steve Jobs is DEAD! Moral: And people are all like "you gotta respect the dead", uh... Why not respect people while they are alive? Humanity is so fucking "smart" sometimes ya? Not that your answer matters...

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What's worse than biting into a worm and finding an apple? Why would you bite into a worm?

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Why can't men give birth? Because men do not not have the reproductive organs required to give life to a new born child.

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Q: Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England? A: She found out Big Ben was only a clock

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had been used as an ingredient in kung pow chicken and was on it's way via delivery boy to the house that had ordered it for a lovely evening meal

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G

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Why can't Helen Keller conduct a Train. Because she is dead.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A zebra that's been brutally cut open.

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A black van approaches a small boy. The boy gets in the van, and the van drives away.

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Why was the little boy upset? He was on fire.

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What do you do if your computer breaks: Go on your phone. What do you do if your phone breaks: Go on you iPod What do you do if your iPod breaks: Then your screwed and you should get a Job and learn not to break things.

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The WNBA

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting ran over by a truck.

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How come Michael Jackson couldn't get into the petting zoo? It was closed.

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Why couldn't little Johnny play sports like the rest of the kids? He was diagnosed with polio at the age of 3 and has limited use of his legs.

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Knock, Knock? Who's there? Its Gilly.

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An Irish man walks into his home and orders a drink.

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13 for violence and mild nudity.

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Get off my porch.

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Jimmy went to a bar, to see a stand up comedian, he heard the standup comedian tell a funny joke, so after the show, he went home and told his wife the joke and after that he said, i made that up, im funny arent i, the wife seemed shifty, so she googled the joke and found the stand up comedians joke, giggled and then proceeded to continue back angrily to Jimmy, because he just did the wrong thing, she slapped Jimmy in the face, divorced Jimmy and killed his 3 children because Jimmy plagurised, and plagurism is illegal, and now Jimmy has no children, and a red mark on his cheek and knows he did the wrong thing don't smoke kids

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whats brown and has a head? A: my penis

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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Why does the man leave the store, with two lemons in his shopping bag? Because lemons happened to be one of the items of food he had purchased.

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What's Chris Benoit up to? Just hangin' with his family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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