What eats McDonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner, annoys everyone around them, and could care less about anyone but themselves? The population of the United States.

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penis

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What do Jerry Sandusky and Michael Jackson have in common? They both had sex with little boys.

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how do you know when an elephant been in your refridgrator The door wont close

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My mother forgot to make me a sandwich today.

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these are shit

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what do you call two arabs flying a plane? a pilot and a co-pilot

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How do you kill the circus? You chop it's head off.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? How did you know it was me?

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Okay, so your school has a fire drill, and a ginger asks why the alarm went off. You reply, “Some new kid saw your hair and pulled the fire alarm

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Your mumma is so stupid her IQ is 40.

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What do you get when you cross a horse with a house cat ? A law suit for animal cruelty

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Why did the kid fall off his swing? Because his mum threw a fridge at him.

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Pick up Lines skeet skeet skeet! JLR

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If Chuck Norris had five dollars and YOU had five dollars, he could still punch you in the face for free and get ten dollars out of it.

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Why did little Timmy start crying? He was shot.

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A couple was arguing about how the man was cheating and he was in "The Doghouse". There clever son pointed out that they didn't own a dog.

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Why did the woman buy peanut butter and a puppy? Her husband just died. She was trying to fill the void in her soul with junk food and companionship.

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Back in my day,we used to have Johnny Cash,Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have higher divorce rates.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They took away privileges that she normally would have had had she not misbehaved.

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what did God say on the 7th day? -zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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Q: What's the biggest lie ever? A: Saying you read the Terms of Service

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The king has three daughters. One day, one of the daughters comes into his room and asks, "Father, why is my name Rose?" King replies,"well, a rose petal fell on your head when you were a baby." The next day, the second daughter comes into his room and asks,"Father, why is my name Tulip?" the king replies,"A tulip fell on your head when you were a bay." On the next day, the final daughter comes in and says, "BLAJSFUAGHASRAKKKKKK." The king says,"Shut up, Cinderblock."

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What is worse than standing on a plug? finding out your family have all been killen in a horrible car crash and your neighbours daughter who happens to be your friend has cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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