So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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Why does Santa Clause say Ho Ho Ho? He has Tuberculosis.

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What is worse than going to school without your homework? Going to school naked without your homework.

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How do you distinguish between an unlabeled carton of milk and an unlabeled carton of cream without breaking the seals? You label them.

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what do u call a gay dinosaur megasoreass

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whyd the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side :)

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knock knock?? whos there?? Not yo cheese because i already ate it

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The Israeli asked the Japanese guy to open his eyes The Japanese guy said, I'm not squinting you crazy Jew. You're the one that sold me these cheap glasses.

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When life gives you lemons... Be thankful you're not starving, a**hole.

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What's sicker than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill death ratio

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I bought my daughter the Josef Fritzl advent calendar. The proceeds go towards abuse survivor charities.

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Chuck Norris can cook ramen noodles with a microwave.

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A man walked into a bar and said "Ouch".

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If a tree falls in a forest and only one women is there to hear it, does i make a sound? Trick question: there's no forests in kitchens.

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What do you call a black man on your front porch? -Racism is a serious and non humorous problem.

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Yo momma so stupid when I said drinks are on the house she went and got a ladder

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Why did the little kid fall off the rollercoaster? His dad threw him off.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? The entire population.

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whats long and stretchy? elastic

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roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweat and so are you

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how do u keep a stupid person in suspense? how

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A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

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Women's rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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