What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Whats red and smells like Bacon. Bacon

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fduck

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How do you say vampire in spanish? Vampiro.

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Why didn't Rosa Parks get her fat black ass up? Because she was an avid partier and had anal with roughly 8 different guys the night before.

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a man with a serious lung diesease was brought into a hospital, through continuous care they were not able to save him and he died the following morning.

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How did the old man feel when he couldn't have sex? Viagravated

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What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? Dead.

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Knock Knock Who's there Me Me who ME LET ME IN

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what happened when a duck flew over the hunter during duck hunting season? the hunter shot at the bird, but fortunately, the hunter was nit very good so the duck flew back to his wife and children by the pond.

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What do Batman and Harry Potter have in common? Their parents are dead.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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Why did the black man begin to cry when his friend aimed a gun at a watermelon? Because if he were to shoot it would be a waste of perfectly good food.

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haha. i got blocked too!!!!

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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How do u make a fat person cry......... tell em mc donnalds is closed (^_^)

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WHY CANT THE ENGLISH MAN FIND HIS.....PANTS? BECAUSE HE NEEDED TO LOOK HARDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! LOOK HARDER ENGLISHMAN!!!!!!!!LOOK HARDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yell this joke out loud and u will realize that its really funny!!! ^-^

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What did the man say to the jew? How are jew?

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Why didn't the black guy where a seat belt? I don't know but he should've because hes dead.

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Romeny or Obama? Obamney

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When Michael Jackson was making his last son, he named him Blanket... he was cold.

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What did the wizard say to the man? Wizards aren't real. Thus not able to speak.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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