Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was an object of great appeal to him on the other side.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, This is a Poem, your Adopted

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There once was an X from place B, Who satisfied predicate P, Then X did thing A, In a specified way, Resulting in circumstance C.

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Yo momma so fat, she has large amount of fat deposited in her body

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"Merry Christmas, Mom! My gift to you is...ME!" "I brought you into this life you disrespectful brat!" He then proceeds to a cliff.

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Did you hear about the cannibal who ate the Olympic record sprinter? He's in prison for first-degree murder & crimes against humanity.

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A dermatologist walks into a strip club. He tells the stripper she has hives on her back and that she needs to go to a clinic, then gets up from his lap dance and reports her to management.

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Why do all black people look the same? They don't you're just racist.

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wat is the difference between rainbows and poop? I LOVE RAINBOWS!

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How did the child cross the road? He couldn't his legs had been lost in an awful car accident that had killed his whole family.

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How do you trap a squirrel? You carefully set up a trap and place acorns in the trap.

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Why did the man fall of the building? Someone shot both of his kneecaps.

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what did one dog say to another dog? ....nothing, because they can only bark.

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"Lets begin, tell me about yourself," "ok, well first I'm a open book and..." "ok next" "why?" "I fucking hate books!"

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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What did the ketchup say to the mustard? Nothing they're just condiments.

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Why didn't the girl get on the school bus? It was Sunday.

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Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

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Q: You know what you should add to your recipe? A: No, not really. Tell me. Q: What? Are you expecting an answer now? Why don't you just shoot me, huh?! Pee on my clothes and set them on fire! You racist son of an **orange**.... It certainly tastes better with oranges.

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A nig-ger walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand. "do you have any lemonade" the man said "no. we don't serve nig-gers lemonade. but you can drink your own piss boy, thats home made.." the nig-ger waddled away (waddle waddle) till the very next day. The nig-ger walked up to the lemonade stand with a lawsuit file right in his hand and said "you are legally required to serve me lemonade" the man said "fu(k you nig-ger, go back to where you came go back to Africa it's full of aids" the nig-ger said "goodbye".... i'm too lazy too finish this off so i'll spoil the ending, the nig-ger was actually a smelly pakistanian, which was actually a dirty chi-nk in costume. let's just say lawsuits were filed but the lemonade stand owner had casey anthony's lawyer and in the end never had to serve fu-cking nig-gers, smelly pakies or dirty chin-ks again :) The End. Happily Ever After.

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Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

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Q: What does Chinese look like? A:Chinese

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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