If dropped from the same height, which hits the ground first an apple or a baby? the apple because the baby has a rope tied around its neck

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What's the cookie monster's favorite kind of cookie? Oreos

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? It fell.

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How do you get a blind man out of a tree? Yes.

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What do you get when you mix red and blue? Gang violence.

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All your base are belong to us. Shame on you for making fun of the Japanese. They can't help their broken English sometimes. How would you like it if someone were to nitpick about every single word you typed? Yeah, bet you wouldn't like that, would you? Would it make you feel a bit more guilty to know these people suffered through a horrible earthquake and tsunami - and still managed to survive? Huh? Or that they continue to outshine most other countries in the world in the field of high-technology? Sure, maybe they DID blow up Pearl Harbor in 1941 and send us reeling into another World War. Everyone makes mistakes. Based on the past, "All your base are belong to us" seems pretty trivial now, doesn't it? Go apologize to a Japanese man right now, and never speak of this again.

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So there are two skunks in a bath tub. One of the skunks says to the other, "Would you please pass the soap?", and the other skunk says, "What do you think I am, a talking radio?!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We don't know if he even did, how would we know why? There were no cameras at the intersection he crossed at. Therefor the question is unanswerable. Unless the chicken admits to it........ ........ Chickens can't talk.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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What's worse than finding a holocost in your apple. A truck full of dead babies then what's worse than finding a truck full of dead babies in your apple. Braving to pich fork them out

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What is black and blue and really is not in the mood for sex? The new girl at the women's shelter.

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How do you fit 1000 Jews into a car? You can't. You'd need a much larger vehicle.

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Your mom's your dad's wife. Except when she's not.

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Lady wanna go out sometime? Im not lesbian girl! Im not a girl... OUCHIE!

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Roses are red. Violets are red. I have a gun. What did i do?

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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Could switching to Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? Yes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken would greatly appreciate it if you stayed out of its personal life.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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How do you get a Virginia graduate off of your porch? Pay him for the pizza

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Q: What's long and gray and kills people? A: A gas pipe.

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knock knock, Whos there ?? Johnny. Come in fish.

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Q: What did the guy with glasses say to the guy without glasses? A: Dude your not wearing glasses.

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What did the sheep say when he broke a leg? Nothing, sheeps can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops