Q.When is a dog, not a dog? A. never

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Why Couldn't the pirates see the movie? Because the mall strictly enforced local curfew laws ; and one of the pirates was unable to provide a valid form of identification.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Nothing, animals are in capable of formal cumunication.

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Basically copying you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he f**king felt like it!

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Q: What's worse than a rainy day? A:

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Earlier that morning the farmer's daughter had inadvertently left the gate to the yard open as she was preoccupied by her worry over a maths test set for that day. She hadn't studied for the test as she was still deeply distressed over her fathers recent heart attack. This, coupled with the added burden of household chores now delegated to her because her mother was out trying to get the west field prepared for sowing, had made her quite forgetful and distracted of late. Whilst several chickens escaped, only one strayed so far that it actually encountered the road facing the farm. After crossing the road and gorging itself in a soy-bean crop, the chicken was struck by a furniture remover's van as it attempted to make its way home. Several hours later the dead chicken was spotted by a Community Mental Health Worker who was doing his bi-weekly rural clinic run. The chicken, being a bantam, caught the eye of the Mental Health worker, who was a keen trout fisherman. "Cool" thought the mental health worker- "those feathers will make for excellent trout flies". He stopped and plucked a handful of the most iridescent blue, green and orange feathers and placed them in an envelope. He rolled himself a cigarette, sat on the trunk of his car and admired the clouds. "God, I love this job", he muttered to no one in particular.

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: A penguin in a blender.

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Q: Wy did the Araib cross the road? A: To open another gas station.

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whats worse than being raped by a random stranger getting raped by your uncle

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There was 2 men walking down the street one fell on the floor from a heart attack and the other started to molest a lonely child. They then heard a bang and they found a dead baby lying in a bin. The moral of this story is to.... Knock Knock Whos there? The Police? The Police who? The police we are here to inform you your nan got hit by a truck and got decapitaited, Sorry but your nan is dead. way

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How can you tell an Irishman from a frenchman? Well, if you look back at both there heritages...

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A black man went to jail while a white man received $200 dollars. They were playing a friendly game of monopoly.

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I had a chocolate chip cookie today, thats it, just a chocolate chip cookie.

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Why did rachels computer break ? Because she was using it in the road and got hit by a bus

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Why do we need to keep answering encryption codes? Because you can't keep a good Jew down (Wyndellberg)

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Roses are red Violets are blue That's what they tell me Because I'm blind

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Whats worse than finding a giant spider in your bedroom? Loosing it...

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Why was the Mexican smart? Because he was very well educated and went to college, and got a Ph.D

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How you do stop a baby from swinging around on the clothesline? Hit it with a shovel.

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What do you have if you have 100 rabbits in a row and 99 step back? That would be a very unlikely thing to happen, unless a mildly scary predator was released in front of them, or they weren't all stepping back at the same time.

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your birth certificate was an apology letter from the condom factory

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If Oscar Meyer had a dog, what breed would it be? A golden retriever.

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whos the biggest oaf................................ coasta

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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