What's the difference between jam and jelly? Jam is slightly more viscous and may contain bits of fruit.

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What is green fuzzy and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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Knock knock Who's there? Your brother My brother who? The dead guy over there.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are yellow Azeleas are pinkish purple

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Why did the girl fall of the swing? Because she was shot in the face by a lone gunman.

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A pig and an elephant walk into a bar. But the pig doesn't even make it into the bar because the mentaly insane elephant ate him. Ouch

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I dont hate you Lets just say if you were on fire and i had water id drink it

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Two penguins are sitting on an ice flow. One says to the other: "hey--you know, it looks like you are wearing a tuxedo." The other one says, "who says I'm not?"

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A black guy and a mexican guy are in a car, Who's driving. A policeman.

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Whats worse than an oompa loompa a black midget

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What does an emu an a kiwi have in common? Both are flightless birds endemic to there own countries.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Well, there is no way to accurately estimate this number being that 1.woodchucks in fact do not chuck wood and 2. there is no time frame given for said action to take place

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Some people are like Slinkies: they don't work as well as they say they will and you'll get bored of them quickly.

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What color is red paint? Red

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Yo Mama is so old that she is probably unable to become pregnant.

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What happened to jimmy when he stepped on a rusty nail? He died of of tetanus.

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What do you call a dolphin that drives a Mercedes Benz? Nothing. Dolphins can't drive.

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What do a magazine and a banana have in common? They both have pages, except for the banana.

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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What does a gay horse eat? Carrots

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Why did the pony go to the Doctor's? It had Horse AIDS.

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Wwhat's black on top and white on the bottom? Rape.

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If you like piña coladas! You might be an alcoholic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops