What did Abraham Lincoln say to his slaves? Nothing, Abraham Lincoln had no slaves.

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Fun Fact getting married to your first cousin is legal in CT... bet you thought there was joke coming right about now..........

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What is the difference between a dead baby in a blender and a rock? There are many differences. One of them is the fact that I don't masturbate to a rock.

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What do you call a cow with no legs? A leg-less cow

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Why did Santa's little helper feel depressed? Neurotransmitters essential for happiness, such as serotonin and norepinephrine, were in rather low supply in the poor elf's brain.

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What do an eagle and a gopher have in common? They can both fly, except for the gopher

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Why did the family have no Christmas tree this year? Because they are Jewish.

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What happened after the man walked off the cliff? Nothing. It was a foot tall.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Roses are red, Violets are purple, nothing rhymes with purple.

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Have you heard about the angry chef? He beat his children

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How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic men? 25

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Whats cooler than being cool in High School? Nothing, now take a hit...everyone's looking

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Roses are Black Violets are Black I am color blind.

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you ever hear the joke about the rabbi, the pope and an elephant? No? well its a good one...

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I bought my daughter the Josef Fritzl advent calendar. The proceeds go towards abuse survivor charities.

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Two blondes get in a taxi. Who's driving? The taxi driver.

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How do you you know when you haven't slept in a while? You're tired.

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A horse walks into a convenience store. He grabs a pack of gum, pays the man at the counter, and walks out.

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A cat jumped out of a tree. It died.

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what did the single guy with no arms get for christmas? porn.

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Why was the ginger walking around in bare feet? He had no sole.

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What is the best way to put out a fire? Stop, drop and have an 0rgy.

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What happens when you cross a kangaroo and an elephant? Absolutely nothing. The two belong to entirely different animal families and their reproductive abilities are totally incompatible. A kangaroo could never fertilize an elephant, or vice versa. To suggest anything else is unrealistic and a physical impossibility.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops