A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse says "I have Cancer."

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why did the lady fall out the window? someone threw axe at her

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey was a dead. Don't you dare laugh. Asshole.

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What happened to the man who jumped off a building? He got hit by a bus on the way down.

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Man: get back in the kitchen! Women: no Man: ok

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What's funny about your mom? Nothing, she died three weeks ago.

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I never asked for this.

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Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber's talent.

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how many babies does it take to paint a barn? depends on how hard you can throw them

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F? No k

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Q: Who lives in a pinaple under the sea? A: Garry

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Q. What roles did girls play in the Gold Rush of 1849? A. Miners.

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Jesus Christ dude. Wait, aren't you Jewish?

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Whats red and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket Whats blue and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

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A jew, a catholic and a muslim walk into a bar. The catholic man dies of a massive heart attack and the other two men mourn their friend for weeks.

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tomorrows international kill and orphan day, how meany of the sad bastard's you plan on baking into dough?

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What did the chemist say when his BBQ ran out of charcoal? Nothing interesting.

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Why was the 15 year old boy always alone in his bedroom making strange noises? Because he was struggling to fight back the tears following his single mother's recent suicide, driven by her despair over the reality that her son was an out of control drug addict, just like his no-good father who ran out on them.

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roses are red violets are blue i forgot what i was gonna say my dad is an engineer

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Roses are Grey Violets are Grey I'm Color Blind F*CK

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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