elen degeneres is straight....

What do you get when you cross a muslim and a mexican? i don't know, i just thought that this would make an interesting question.

Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

Why did the penguin die? due to an increase in the quantity of greenhouse gases that are being released into the atmosphere, global warming is on the rise. So the penguin died because his home melted.

How to you get a clown off a swing? You shoot it in the face.

Why did Sarah limp to school? Because she got hit by a tree

What do you call an old man who took too much viagra? And ambulance, because he could possibly get a heart attack from the fluctuations in blood pressure

Why are their so many lesbians? cause they LOVE the pussy.. (Tastes soo wet and tight)

What do you get when you cross a parrot and a beach ball? A beach ball with a parrot design on it.

Knock Knock *opens the door*

why am i sore i bummed a giraffe

3 Jews walk into a bar. Few minutes later a penny is dropped. This resenct occation causes a bar fight to brake out.

i am iron man running over fat kids in my van

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her repeatedly in the chest with a ball point pen

The king asked the jester why was he not telling jokes. He wasn't because he's a jester and therefore is obligated to be funny.

Joe goes to the bathroom with someone in the next stall named Bill Bill: "Hi" Joe: "Hi" Bill: "How you doing" Joe: "Good" Bill: "You traveling" Joe: "Yes to Alabama" Bill: "Yeah, I got to go a guy in the next stall answering all my questions bye"

An old couple walks up to me and says, "can you take our picture? It's our 50th anniversary." I reply, "sure." Then I pull the man to the side and ask, "how do you make a relationship last so long? I can't make one last 50 days let alone years." He leans in and says, "cheat"

- kellen says to bill "your a fruit cake" - bill say to raj "your a gypsy" - raj says to kellen "you have gingevitis" R.I.P kellen 2012

Why did the soviet plane crash? It was joseph Stallin

Why do girls have bumps around their nipples ? -it's brai for suck here .

What is the difference between a girl and a woman? Age

A blonde, red head and brunette decide the jump off a cliff....... They all die

While I was walking home from school one day, James Brown jumped out of a bush and punched me in the face. Then, when I got home, there was a walrus sitting on my couch. He then turned to look at me and said, "Penis". I then immediately farted out blades of grass.

What do you say to a black man with a gun? Don't shoot me.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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