Have you ever seen that really famous blind man's house? Neither has he.

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How do you make an electrician fall over? You hit him hard with a lamp

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Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Because she fell out the window and landed in soot.

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Hello, I'm David and I just stabbed my aunt in the eye. Just kidding, my name isn't David. That was an Aunt Eye(anti) joke.

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call me a bitch You're a bitch Only bitches do what they are told!

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait; it would be quite unsanitary to talk about my genitals in front of you.

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mom's a whore.

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holy F**k someone call an ambulance!

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1 fish 2 fish red fish wait why is the fish red , oh I forgot I killed it

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(approach girl) How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to fit into the same dress as you

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whats worse than being cold? having a pine cone shoved up your ass.

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot.... ya' damn racist!

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What's black, brown and red? My dog as a serial killer

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A man walks into a bar. He is then rushed to the emergency room for severe blunt force trauma to the head and multiple cranial fractures. After years of mental therapy the man re-gains full cerebral capabilities and is extremely cautious to keep an eye out for potentially dangerous bars that present a threat to his fragile reconstructed skull.

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What'sucks and white Jackson

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How do you make a plumber cry? Shit a brick.

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A guy walks into the bar and orders a coke with some ice and some peanuts. It cost a total of $4.00 plus tax. He gave the bartender $5.00 and told him to keep the change. He drank the soda pop and burped loudly and left the bar and forgot his peanuts.

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A giant meteor will hit the earth tomorrow.What do you do? Tell everyone I told you so.

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What's brown and sticky? Shit

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What do you call a smart blond? A golden retriever!

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what do you get when you cross an elephant with a lake? swimming trunks.

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Why was the Indian at the casino? He had a gambling addiction.

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whats worse than having your sextape leaked to the media? not being a kardashian when it happens.

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what's the difference between two pieces of bacon and a blond girl? The blond girl is a human and it's against the law to eat her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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