What does a baby sound like being cooked in the microwave. I don't know I was to busy masterbating.

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A wife asks her husband if he can fix the sink and he responds with Do I have plumber written on my forehead. Then she asks him if he can fix the porch and he responds with Do I have contractor written on my forehead. So the husband goes on vacation and comes back to find the sink and porch fixed and he asks his wife how it is fixed and she says that the new neighbor helped. So she says the neighbor said he would only do it for cake or sex. The husband respond by saying Which one did you choose. His wife responds by saying Do I have Betty Crocker written on my forehead.

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? He looked at his gas bill.

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your mom is so old, she is often confused for your grandmother.

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Why couldn't the pirate boy see the movie? He was blind.

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why cant monkeys swim? cause they dont have staberlizers.

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Chuck Norris once walked into a strip club, and had quite a nice time indeed!

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A guy asked his Girlfriend to marry him. She said Hey! a Dump Truck! and the mental Boyfriend forgot all about the Proposal and was amazed by the Dump Truck.

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What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? You don't call him anything... You call for help.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? To get to the body shop.

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Why weren't there any black people at the book sale? Black people don't read.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Sex.

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Dory from Finding Nemo: "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy- Hey, I just met you."

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How many vampires does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Vampires do not exist

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What is funny about 9/11. Nothing you sicko, it was a tragic day for the world.

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just sit down and dont be a Jew

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Let's not pick mushrooms in heaven.

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What do you do when a man in a corner offers you candy? You walk away.

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why is santa so jolly? hes not hes a fictional character made up by our parents imagination

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was a cold day

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Sally sold seashells by the seashore but she didnt make any money of course. seashells on the shore can be picked up off the beach for free

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What did the pedophile get for christmas? He was raped by a gorilla

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Knock knock Come in

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Call me a banana. You're a banana. No I'm not

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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