a man reads his wife a poem "roses are red, violets are blue, and I love you." the wife talks to her brother asking why he changed the poem he said men do that cause they love you. later that night she got pregnant.

what does a man with no leg say to a woman with one eye? hello. by Mad James

How to you scare a paraplegic? Point a gun at him.

You know what's funny? Clowns.

Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they're ugly and they stink.

Your Mom is so poor she can't afford home-owners insurance.

Why is your dad gay? Because he takes an enjoyment in a mans dick

Roses are black. Violets are black. Everything is black. I'm blind.

What's worse than stubbing your toe? Nothing.

An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

What did Billy get his dad for Father's day? Nothing, his dad was killed by a spinning helicopter blade when Billy was 3.

a boy walks over to the living room and shouts " happy birthday, daddy!!" the response is "i'm a cup, therefore i do not have a birthday because i am an inanimate object."

What is invisible, weighs 332 pounds, runs 67.3 mph, is green, and is made by Jews in China. Nothing, if something is invisible, then it cannot reflect green light, therefore it cannot be green.

What did the wife say to her husband when he arrived home from work? Nothing. She cried over his coffin. Her husband was a marine who died in a car bombing in Iraq.

h

Your mother is so fat that she is highly likely to get heart disease and/or diabetes.

Two Poles are walking down the street. One says "Look out, I think that's dog shit." The other man thanks him and avoids the excrement.

If your uncle helped you off An horse, would you help your uncle jack off an horse?

Why are rich guys gay? They can afford to be

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names! *ba dum chzz*

justin beiber is having intimate sex with a woman.

Two Guys walk into a bar; the second one should have seen it coming.

What do you call a fat kid who eats twinkies. Otto Hintz`````

Q:How many babies does it take to paint a room? A:It depends how hard you throw them

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...