what goes up and down , and left and right all day without breaking a sweat? A compass, get your mind out of the gudder.

An old couple walks up to me and says, "can you take our picture? It's our 50th anniversary." I reply, "sure." Then I pull the man to the side and ask, "how do you make a relationship last so long? I can't make one last 50 days let alone years." He leans in and says, "cheat"

Why did the man go to jail? He abused and later murdered his spouse.

What's the shittiest thing ever ? Poop.

People could crack eggs but Chuck Norris could crack chickens.

What happened to the dog who lost its legs? It Died.

Knock. Knock Who's there? Jim. Jim who? Jim your best friend.

Gianni

What did the judge say to the midget when he sent him to jail ? Stop beating your wife

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a homicidal maniac, six has every right to be afraid

A: We're eating you for breakfast today. B: Thank you, I'll have my arm.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Hi.

why did the jew cross the road? the ss was chasing him and his family to kill him so he ran across the street to same his family, he got hit by a truck and his family was killed...

What's Mexico's favorite sport? Cross Country

In the weeks following the original release of Die Hard, reports sprung up across the nation of impressionable boys overdosing while masturbating.

What did the Lightning Bolt say to the Thunder Cloud? WATTSup?

A short Irish man and a tall German man went skydiving. Both parachutes coincidentally failed to deploy and they died.

A black guy and a mexican guy are in a car, Who's driving. A policeman.

Why are black people ghetto? Because they are black.

A homosexual walks into a church

if dave has 50 candy bars and eats 45 what does he have? diabeties.

What do you call a really old Cowboy? A senior citizen with a brain tumor.

how hight is a china man ? derr his name is how high and he is a china man

Why did the dog kill the fish? He had no reason, he just wanted fish. What, you thought he had like, a vendetta? pssh your crazy

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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