Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Come out with your hands up.

What's the difference between a water melon and a baby? One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer, the other's just a water melon.

An Indian man left a 20% tip after eating at the closest restaurant to him

Why did the police officer arrest the black guy? Because the guy was black and the police officer was racist.

What did Helen Keller say to the leper? Buaaaaguuuhloo

Q: Why can't Helen Keller have a baby? A: Because she is dead. ...I IS HORNY!

what do you do when a dog bites your ear off? you see that you are bleeding then you scream.

What is black, often hung by a rope on a tree, and something white people like to play with? A tire swing.

What do you call Michael? A homosexual person who is nice, however he is still gay.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

Where do five gay guys walk? Where ever they want to. This is a free country, where people are free to travel as the please, no matter what their sexual orientation may be

what do you call a black man on a bike? a black man on a bike.

Whats worse than a baby crying on a plane. 9/11

How many cows does it take to put in a lightbulb? Well, you see, it depends how many cows it takes to put in a lightbulb.

theres a giant burning orb in the sky and it can burn your flesh, it can give you diseases, it can kill you, looking directly at it causes physical pain, and we all think this is okay. we like this orb. we like to go outside and lie around on our backs when this orb is in the sky. children draw cute pictures of this levitating death orb with a smiley face on it. what is wrong with us

A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

Why was Six afraid of Seven. Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

Q: What game will Helen Keller always win? A: Marco Polo. She is a fast swimmer.

Why doesn't little billy eat his vegetables at the dinner table... Because billy has bin dead for 3 years

Whats the similarity between your mom and me We are both men except for your mom

So there were two... sigh... I hate my life....

A man goes to the doctor and is told, "you have cancer." He then spends his last days writing a bucket list, but losing his leg in a wood chipper before he could complete a single item on his list

What's a black guys favourite thing to eat? Food.

Spell: “This word”

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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