What's the difference between a duck? Nothing, they're both the same.

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? I'm not sure, he could not unwrap them.

Why is NO ONE on Facebook when I AM?! Because you have no friends... on Facebook... ... Wow.

Why did the man cross the road? Because the light turned green

yo mama so fat she has diabetes.

Why did the dog eat poop?

what do you call a Ukrainian who eats pirogi's A walking stereotype

What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

A priest a rabbi and a minister are all standing at the gates of heaven. Us mortal beings can only conjecture what might've have taken place.

A christian, a Jew, and a muslim walk into a bar. They order their drinks and have a good night because no one knows they are all of different religions.

How does a gay take his pants off? Just like everybody else

Knock knock Who's there? Carrot Carrot who? Carrot in the tree house, cause it's orange.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being taken to the slaughter house

Why did the chicken go up the car? To get a drink.

4 on three... 1, 2, 3, 4!

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&Ms factory? Because she slapped the boss when he made a pass at her. Afterwhich she reported the incident to her Union and the boss was fired for Sexual Harassment. She was then rehired with a substantial increase in salary.

I saw a coin one day but never picked it up. It was still there the next day and then the day after that when it was still there I saw a girl being sick on it...

What did the pornstar do after the film shoot? Called her parents and said she had a good day at work as a receptionist at a law firm. She is too ashamed to admit her real profession to them. She then cried profusely.

why was the pen lonely? because it didn't have a pen pall

Why did the man starve to death? Because his wife died

What was the pirate movie rated? Pg-13

"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Me. May I come in?" "Yes, you may."

How do you murder a blonde? You drop a bull dozer on her filled with 2 bulls, 100 wasps and a rabbit squirrel.

Whats worst then listening to you girl friends problems? Nothing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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