why did suzy drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock! who's there? not suzy.

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Why did the girl go to the hospital? Her brother dared her to jump off the second story roof of their house...

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what do you do to gay guy who wants to have anal sex with you? beat him with a steel baseball bat in his face.

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i feel like when the radish was discovered someone was like "hey lets call it rad!" and another guy was like "lets dial it down a bit"

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"Have you ever seen a blacksmith?" "No." "Me neither."

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What is worse than running away from a rapist? Getting raped by a rapist.

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Good question, probably because I cannot get enough focus to "put a spell" on anyone because of my allergy, I use "autocast" for the rest. "Put a spell" I have not heard that since I was 14, that's really oldschool, and kinda geeky, back then it was code talk... Which is also geeky unless it actually serves a good purpose. AAAND... I served my mandatory time in the army as a minesweeper, we got attacked by fucking allies because of a... Yeah, I killed, people on our same team, still bad people, they offed about everybody else until I showed up, long story short, yeah I offed four of them, but that's like ten years ago.. My turn, you really got a crush on me dont you?

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How does a blonde restart her computer? Seriously, you guys, I need help. I'm not a very technological person.

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What do you call a cow after an earthquake? Dead. The barn collapsed on top of it.

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whats one word that gets everyones attention? rapist,bomb,and sex

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A bear is chasing a rabbit through the woods. The rabbit stumbles into a genie while coming to a clearing. The Genie says, "I will give you both three wishes." The bear thinks quickly and says, "I wish every bear in the forest was female." The Genie then grants the wish. "And...now I wish that each bear in the country was female!" The Genie grants the wish. "AND I WISH THAT EVERY BEAR IN THE WORLD WAS FEMALE!!!" the bear exclaims, now getting overly excited by his wishes. The Genie grants the last wish and then turns to the rabbit. "Your turn." The rabbit wishes for a pair of running shoes and the well being of his family and friends. For his last wish he points at the bear and says, "I wish he was gay."

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roses are scarce, violets are farse, come over here and i'll stick it up ya ar#e.

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I swear to god it wasn't me! Dont swear to god its a sin !

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What's the difference between a murcielago and a dead baby ? I don't have a dead baby in my garage. 8-)

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Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock The person who lives inside is depth.

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- My grand mother died. - I'm sorry.... Did She died of old age ? - No, she got eaten by a giant worm.

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How did Darth Vader make the little black boy's day? "I am your father"*heavy breath, heavy breath*

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Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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I have a black man in my family tree... He's still hanging there.

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Ipod to earbuds: "hey buds" earbuds response: "sup player"

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A duck sits down at a bar and orders a drink. After he finishes, he gets up to leave, when the bartender says, "Excuse me, sir, but you didn't pay for your drink." The duck turned around and said, "I'm sorry, I forgot." So he paid the bartender for the drink and left him a nice tip, and left the bar in a good mood.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an abosolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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There was a cat, an astronaut and a nun. The cat was sleeping, the astronaut was floating, and the nun was praying. There was a singer, a dancer and an actor. The singer was singing, the dancer was dancing, and the actor was acting.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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