Doctor doctor, I came here as quickly as possible, it was just the nearest place I could find. My dog he... he's panting and bleeding and I don't know what to do I think he's dying and I just want him to hold on... Please... Well then go to a vet you stupid shit.

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Why are you angry dude? I can't see my forehead

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An early Jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody and then transported by railcar to a camp where he and other persecuted minorities are deliberately imprisoned in a relatively small space with inadequate facilities where they await their eventual mass execution.

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Q: How do you make a cat bark? A: Douse it in gasoline and throw it in a fire.........WOOF!!!!

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A bear walked into a bar, unfortunately there were no survivors.

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Why can't George Washington drive? Because he died!

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*you're

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What happened to the soccer player when he got kicked in the leg..... He cried on the ground for hours even though there is padding there

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Gianni

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Roses are red, Violets are unicorns, This s h i t doesn't make sense, Refrigerator.

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Knock, knock. *answers door*

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a man? One's tall the other's not

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what did one pedophile say to the other at the playground? DIBZ!!!

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What do you do when you see a black child riding a bike? Think to yourself, "Wow you just don't see many kids riding bikes anymore because there too busy playing video games in their basement."

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "God" "Then come right in!"

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a man gets raped. -teagan doherty-

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Yo mom is so fat and stupid that she used butter to get through the doorway, but she ate it

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side of the road because apparently their was something on the other side that appealed to the chicken. It was probably your mom.

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What do you call a dead prostitute? - You (or friends name) in 10 years

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Joke: What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho Cheese! Anti Joke: What do you call cheese that's not yours? Sally's Cheese

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How do you make sushi if you are a fish? Commit suicide and sell yourelf to a sushi resturant!

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John is typing... *2 seconds later" John: Hi

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What's 6 + 9? 15.

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what is the difference between Stephani and a whale? A whale is skinnier... get the harpoonns

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops