Why is Billy in a ditch? He stepped on a landmine and was promptly burst into many pieces. The ditch was coincidental.

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a boy walks into the doctors office."my knees hurt...i poked it like this"the doctor says "listen kid...u are a really good kid but u didnt really injure your knee and im sick of you!!"

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Why did the man not want to be a tree? Because he didn't want to.

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What do you call someone with no legs nor arms? Mat

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How many dead jews can you fit in a hole? Ask hitler.

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What did the mother get her blonde daughter for her birthday? A flower on her tombstone.

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Your mom is fat

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Two men walk in to a bar, one buys a beer. The second receives a phone call and leaves.

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"Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, I have Alzheimer's. "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, I have Alzheimer's. "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, I have Alzheimer's.

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What did the african american ninja say to the jewish bartender? Can I have a beer?

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what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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What do you call something that has two legs, arms and is bloody all over? My ex's new boyfriend.

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How do you make a Russian baby cry? Punch it in the face

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What's Mary short for? She's got no legs.

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Chinese food tastes so oriental sometimes, sort of like asian food

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Why did the dude fall into a box? Because he was hit by a bus.

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Where can find a man who owns a white van capable of transporting many children? Most local churches have them for mission work. I would contact a local minister.

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Yo mamma's so fat, at her last annual checkup her attending physician informed her that if she did not attempt to control her weight gain through a careful moderation of her diet and began exercising on a regular basis, that her obesity would soon manifest itself in a variety of chronic health conditions that would permanently alter her ability to enjoy life and could significantly decrease her lifespan.

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What's the most common pickup line in a gay bar? "Hi, may I buy you a drink?"

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Q:why did the boy fall off the swing A:he had no arms Q:why couldn't he get up A:he had no legs Q:why did he die A:he fell in a puddle

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Knock, knock. Whose there? Tits. Tits, who? SUCK EM'!

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What did the hooker say to her employer after 1 hour....you owe my $20

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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