Leave her alone...

keep your eye off me if you dont look at me, how do you know i looked at you? there is a mirror

" Hey you have something on your face. " ( man speaking punches the guy he was talking to ) " It was pain."

What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

Why do people read Bibles? To learn about God.

If you stretch all your skin out in a line, you will die of blood loss or possible infection

An early Jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody and then delivered by railcar to a camp where he and other persecuted minorities are deliberately imprisoned in a relatively small space with inadequate facilities where they await their mass execution.

Pickles

Teacher: What's 2x2 John? John: (ignores teacher) Teacher: John! John: huh? Teacher: go on John: uh? 24?

What's worse than finding a fly in your coffee? The holocaust. What's worse than that? Two flies in your coffee.

a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and becomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into a piece of shit.

Why did the world not end in 2012? Because the Mayans were drunks.

Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he didn't have any arms or legs. Why didn't he have any arms or legs? Because Jimmy was a Potato.

What do you do when you walk downstairs and see your TV floating? Call Ghostbusters.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Don't cry, it's only a joke. It's not that, my wife and son were just killed in a drunk driving accident.

Man: Are you tired Woman: No why? Man: You have bags under your eyes and you just yawned a minute ago

What did the Hobo get for Christmas? Nothing,He celebrated Hanukkah.

Q: What happens when you hit a man with a car? A: You speed away hoping no one saw, you spend the next month and a half agonizing over your crime as it consumes you because you think of the poor man's family, then you either go to prison or hang yourself from a fan all because you wanted road dome....

Your momma's so fat that she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease.

How do you make a baby cry? You punch him him the gut and slap him multiple times.

People say it's easy to make fun of retarded people. But it's really not. You always have to explain it to them.

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Shoes

knock knock whos there jew jew who JEW YOU

So the docter saw the girl had a "M" on her chest during surgery. He asked her if he had a boyfreind from Michigan. She said "no, but i have a girlfreind from winsconsin, why do u ask?"rf

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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