A man named Joe has practiced drawing cartoon characters his entire life. When Joe turns 15 he decides to enter a local drawing competeiton. Joe works very hard drawing his cartoon and finally finishes. When it is the time to hand in his drawing his drawing, he hands it in an receives a satisfying 2nd place and continues on with his life. Two years later Joe decides to enter another drawing competeiton (this one much more competitive) after his drawing skills have tremendously increased. He begins drawing and is 3/4 of the way finished when Joe is brutally murdered by a mentally disturbed man and cannot hand in his art work and is therefore disqualified from the competeiton and loses.

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What do you call a black man forcing two young girls into his car with a gun? A Police Officer.

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when the teacher asked jimmy if he was a girl jimmy felt very scared because his teacher had no mental problems.

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A Chinese man, an American man, and a Mexican man are sitting in an airplane. When the flight attendant comes by with food, the Chinese and American both opt for pretzels, while the Mexican prefers crackers and makes his selection accordingly. The three sit back and enjoy their snacks separately.

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whats green and walks? A cabbage, cabbages dont walk

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Why did the dog smile? It didn't. Humans are the only creatures on planet Earth capable of smiling, therefore, dogs are unable to smile.

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What do you call a person with no legs and an eyepatch? Names.

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a sailor went to his G.P to see if he had HIV turned out he had hepititis C

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when im sad im feel horny i rape little children -jimmy saville , last words of the diary

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There were two ducks in a bathtub. One duck says to the other, "Pass me the soap" The other duck replies, "What do i look like, a toaster?"

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knock knock... who's there? your grandmother, now please let me in it's very cold outside. *you now proceed to open the door for your grandmother as she is elderly and you dont want her to freeze

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how do u make an infant cry? hit it in the face with a full grown salmon.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Refrigerators come in an assortment of colors

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why did the grandpa drop his big mak??? Because an army tank hit him

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Cavan keely's the type of guy who drives past hilltown screaming GET IT THE VAN!!

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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You's so ugly you should consider facial reconstruction surgery if it's covered by your insurance.

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When a suicide-bomber when to heaven what did Allah give him apart from 72 virgins? 72 mothers in law.

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So the docter saw the girl had a "M" on her chest during surgery. He asked her if he had a boyfreind from Michigan. She said "no, but i have a girlfreind from winsconsin, why do u ask?"rf

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Cows make a world go round and round They also live in the town town town They make a funny sound sound sound MOO MOO MOO MOO MOO Where do cows go on saturdays? The MOOvies I am Cow Hear me MOO I weigh 10 times more than you! Why are cows black and white? Cause they dont want to be racist

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what do you call a football team without players a group of coaches

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows, he was hit by a car.

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What did the woman say when the man got her flowers? "Why thank you."

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A priest and a prostitute are sitting next to each other on a bus. The priest asks her what she does, and she says "I sell my body to strange men." The priest then explains to her about Christianity, and she gives up her ways and becomes a devout Christian.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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