your brother so fine that hes skinney

What did the podiatrist say to the proctologist? That athletes foot fungus is clearing up nicely.

What did the Dinosaur say to the Seal? Dinosaur's cant.. wait...

if a fat man in a red suit puts you in a bag at night. its not santa your getting raped

Yo mamma is so nice, when she bakes a batch of cookies, there's enough for everybody.

Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no arms.

Q: What did one car say to another? A: Nothing. Cars can't speak.

Why did the mushroom get invited to the party? He is a fun-gi!!

there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

what do you get when you put a baby in a blender? salsa how to you get it out? tostitos

What happened when a 16 year old guy went over to his friends party? found out he wasn't friends with anyone there, got kicked out and committed suicide.

How do you call a black man selling fruits ? Yes, but I'm not sure

what do you call a man who makes fun of womens rights? Single

Ham sandwich

What do you call a crocodile in a dentist? I have no idea, but I'd hate to be that dentist.

What really puts a kick into both my life and the lives of others around me? My leg(s) of which recieves messages from a sophisticated bundle of "wires" in my cranium that enables it to act at all.

Three Jews are hiding under the floorboards. One of them makes and noise and they are promptly found by the invading German soldiers. They are all shipped to Aushwitz where two of them are sent directly to the gas chambers where they are killed. The third Jew survives the Holocaust and is eventually liberated by Allied forces. He returns to his country only to find his house burnt to the ground. With no money or food, he starves to death by the side of the road and his body is eaten by various animals.

When life gives you lemons... wait that wont happen

When life gives you lemons, throw them at pedestrians.

Why did the chicken cross the road. Because, It can't fly

What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

Why couldn't the man walk? Because his leg is broken.

What did Death say to Life? "Look, I respect that you waited till after I broke up with Sandy to ask her out, but it's still a little akward for me, so although there are no hard feelings, it's probably better if we keep our distance from each other for awhile."

I have a black guy in my family tree? Yea, his still hanging their

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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