Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted a car to kill him so he can get to the other side with his wife and son. In other news,I had a very nice chicken cutlet and scrambled egg dinner.

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

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How do you kill the President of the United States? Your name has been reported to the authorities.

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Your friend is so retarded I am getting a bit worried and his mother should take him to get tested for mental retardation.

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That Awkward moment when your whole family dies

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Knock, Knock Who's there ? So So who? No, So Lee

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Henry: Say the word "really". Moe: Really. Henry: Now say the word "really" with sarcasm. Moe: Really? Henry: More sarcasm! I want you to be very sarcastic! Moe: Oh really??? Henry: There ya go!

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your moms tits are so big she may have breast cancer she may have breast cancer which takes approximitely 300,000 lives per year

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Why is god mean? Cause he doesn't like you.

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Q: Ask me how far have you gone with a girl? A: Mexico

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What did the lemon say to the turtle? If you think the lemon said anything, something is wrong with you.

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Why did the chiken cross the road? Well its wing were clipped so it couldnt fly across the road.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit by a bus.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock... Who's there? Not Suzy.

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An Irishman, a homosexual and a Jew walk into a bar. Paddy's really exploring his options lately.

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What is worse then North Korea trying to blow up everybody? Peter Griffin twerking.

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If u wanna get high, smoke weed

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Boy: Mum... I got a hundred marks! Mother: That's good my son! Which subject was it? Boy: 30 for maths, 40 for english, and 30 for science.

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The 13th Amendment...

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you'r mom is so fat that whenever she goes to the doctors, they are concerned about her cholesterol levels and high blood pressure.

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what's the difference between a jew and a pizza? Nazis did't burn the pizza

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Okay, So a Cow, a Lumberjack and a Fireman walk into a bar. The cow asks the bartender, "What kind of milk do you have?" The bartender looks confused and asks," Why would a cow want milk?" The cow replies,"I've been producing milk all my life and I've never had a chance to try it. I'd just like some milk." The bartender replies,"Okay we have whole milk, 2%, and skim milk. What'll you have?" The cow says,"Whole milk, I want the whole deal." The bartender obliges. Next the Lumberjack comes up to the bar. The bartender asks, "What'll you have?" The lumberjack asks for some syrup. The bartender inquiries,"What kind of syrup would you like?" The lumberjack answers,"Pure Maple, imitation, or chocolate. All work for me." The bartender turns and pours a shot of pure maple syrup and turns away. Finally the fireman walks up the the bartender and says, "Can I have a glass of water?" The bartender turn and ask inquisitively,"Why?" The fireman quickly replies,"TO PUT OUT THE FIRE!"...

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what did the crippled boy say to the truck driver? "i like cats."

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So what makes you that much adaptable? I get the feeling I should get this by now.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops