What do giant panda bears eat? giant bamboo

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Do you know what will hurt? Getting hurt.

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What do you call a man who has Alzheimer's? Wait what am I doing?

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Why did the boat salesman cry? Because a puppet killed his family.

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Mcfly: Doc! i have to tell you about the future! Doc: Ok.

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A 12-year-old boy comes up to the Polish man and says, "I was looking in your bedroom window last night and I saw you and your wife doing it. Nyah, nyah, nyah!" The Pole answers, "You are a very rude, disrespectful, and inappropriate child. Where are your parents?"

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How many cows say moo? All of them

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maths is annoying!!! LIKE if you agree!!!!! :D

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Why was the bear rushing home after work? Because he was late for dinner.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a truck!

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why did the little boy put a bandaid on his knee. it doesn't really matter, he has cancer.

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If pinocchio said "my nose is going to grow", what would happen?

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where would you hide 100 dead jews in a car the ashtray because they were all cremated

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Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them, they die.

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knock knock. who's there myhairs myhairs who myhairs fallen out

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A chinese man walks into a bar, and he see's his friends they are black, mexican, white, and paki. This is their meeting place for their group on racial equality.

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Why was the teenage girl crying? She wasn't, she was just experimenting with her emotions.

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Murder me once, shame on you.

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A man walked into a bar There were some other people there too

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A man walks into a man walks into a man walks into a man.

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A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her ways.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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roses are red , violets are blue , sugar is sweet and so are you. the roses are wilting the violets are dead. the sugar bowl is empty and so is your head

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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