What is the Civil War called in Virginia? The War of Northern Aggression.

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I win an iPad for pooping on someone's head Answer- We have a muddaf**kin winna

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why did the girl like d1ck? because d1ck was a nice boy

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What's worse than finding a bone in your boneless chicken meal? Going home to find your entire family brutally murdered.

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How did the mermaid break her arm? She fell out of a tree.

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A guy walks into a bar. He orders a coke. The bartender looks at the gentlemen with a little smile and says "Just a coke?"

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What do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you....you pull the pin and trow it back

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whats the difference between chuck norris and a normal human being? nothing

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A man walks into a bar. Another man walks into a bar.

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What's worse than 10 babies in one trash can? One baby in 10 trash cans.

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Good to know tattletale, I remember hating you back then when you betrayed me, but I cant wait to meet you again. Anyway Nero, I am a girl, its not about sex with me, I just had to tell you, and hope you will take better care of yourself, I know you used to be worried about your looks, and I just want you to understand ill be there for you no matter what. Thanks for the kind words Nero, I know you mean them, you never hid the fact that you found me attractive, but while I did not understand then why you would ruin every nice moment by saying something cheesy or rude, I think I get it now... I know you need rest, but can I arrive as soon as possible? Ill just wait outside or something, I wont be a bother I promise.

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-Wanna hear a joke? -Not really -Oh

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My penis is small, Just kidding, it's huge.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun.

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What did the German say to the Jew? I'm not quite sure; I don't speak German.

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A Guy walks into a bar Ouch

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What's the most common pickup line in a gay bar? "Hi, may I buy you a drink?"

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Q: What's long and brown? A: The unemployment line.

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Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, your wife and kids die.

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An Octopus walks into a bar and sees that there are multiple people with instruments. The man with the Guitar says "I bet you cant play the Guitar better than Led Zeplin?" So the Octopus plays and he is better than Led Zeplin. Then the man with the Piano says "I bet you can't play the piano better than Elton John?" So the Octopus Plays it better than Elton John. The Last man from Scotland says " i bet you can't plat the bagpipes better than me?" So... The Octopus is playing around with the Bagpipes and they say to him "Hurry Up!" and the Octopus says "Shut up, I'm trying to have sex with it but first I need to get it's pajamas off" (Bagpipes have 8 long things you blow into and they have a pattern that looks like a pajama pattern) hahaha

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Botanically speaking, cheese can't fry bagels.

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A dolphin walked into a bar, wait. . . dolphins can't walk, or go to bars.

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Why did the bus crash? Because the driver was a watermelon.

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Knock Knock Who's There Santa Santa Who? I stole your dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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