A Jew, an Atheist, and a Muslim walk into a bar. They each drink a bottle, have a conversation, and leave.

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Two chemists walk into a bar. The first says, "I'd like some H2O" The second says "I'd like some H2O as well." Nobody dies.

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What is red, blue, and green all over? A piece of paper with three colors on it.

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Why is it bees travel in formation, one side is longer than the other? ... There are more bees on one side

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A man walks into a pet store. He then says "This isn't the bar" and leaves.

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Man 1: Nock-nock Man 2: Please leave my place of residence

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what's the difference between a dog and a sheep? one's a dog and the other isn't.

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Q. Whats the easiest way to end world hunger? A. Nuke Africa.

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A boy asks his father how babies are made. The father responds, "Babies are created via coital sex. A man rhythmically inserts his erect penis into a woman's vagina until he ejaculates. If his semen successfully fertilizes her egg, a baby will slowly grow in her uterus. After roughly forty weeks of gestation, the baby will be born."

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car

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How can you tell that your friend just had sex with a blonde? The girl he just had sex with has blonde hair.

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Weiner

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Two 50 year old men walk into eachother on the street. one was born in a hobo shack and another was born in a mansion. what did the rich one say to the poor one? Hi, whats your name?

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sdasdadasdasd

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Why did the father beat his daughter? To alleviate stress.

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Why was the teenage girl crying? She wasn't, she was just experimenting with her emotions.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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So Jimmy's phsycology teacher is trying to think of beginnig lessons for her phsycology class. so she gets up and says "class, i want u anyone who thinks they are stupid to stand up." nobody stood up. then Jimmy stands up. The teacher says "Jimmy, u think u are stupid?" Jimmy replies "No, i just felt bad with u standing up all alone."

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A man runs into a house and unloads a round of bullets killing 2 people in the kitchen. He wins Search and Destroy for his team at Nuketown.

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Why is John gay? Because he enjoys the penis

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Why was the bear rushing home after work? Because he was late for dinner.

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What happens when you mix Fluorine, Uranium, Carbon, and Potassium? NaBrO

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I had a great joke to tell you. I didn't want people stealing my ideas so I didn't write it. Haha

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what do you sit on, poop on, and sleep on? a bed, a toilet, and a chair

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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