Where's my shotgun

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Roses are red Violets are blue Little Tommie is dead In a body bag Going to the dumpster Behind my house

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An Astronaut.

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when do you know your a BOSS................ when you get a promotion

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What kind of cheese doEs god like? Swiss cheese because it's holy!

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Why did the chicken cross the rode? It was being chased by a fox and did not want to be eaten.

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My life :(

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What do you call a black man in space? A space monkey.

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What lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japanese People

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Why are white people not good at basketball? Because they aren't black.

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why did billy drop his ice cream? he got hit by a plane that a loaf of bread was driving

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Why must you never cross an elephant with a human being? It is impossible anyway.

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What did the banana say to the other banana? We're both marshmallows

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: Your mother sucks.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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What's the same about eggnog and a computer? You can search the web. Except that's only true for one of them.

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How do you stop a car? Put on the Brake

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What's the difference between vanilla ice cream and vanilla ice cream with chocolate chips? Neither one has vanilla ice cream in it except for both of them.

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Q: Why did the prostitute have no arms? A: Because she was an amputee.

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Why haven't the Miami "Big Three" won a championship together? They don't play as a team. They rely on three people to score all their points when there are at least two other people on the court at all times. They jinxed themselves because they thought they were going to win every title until their contracts were up.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. No, the Holocaust never happened, you're an idiot.

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Q: What did the littl boy with cancer get for christmas? A: Nothing, he didnt make it that far.

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space is fun

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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