There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Why did the chicken cross the dairy farm? Sex.

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A young black guy was explaining how he was raised by a single mother

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why would the chicken cross a road

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face" The horse responds "My daughter has cancer"

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Three Jewish men walk into a butcher. They dont buy any pork products and thank the butcher for his services.

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Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

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Call me for a good time! 402-805-2412, I do anal!;) -Martini Wyant

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How much does a polar bear weigh? about 900 pounds

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. he crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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An man was tested positive for HIV. He then called his girlfriend and told her she should get tested.

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Nope! Chuck Testa.

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What did one dog say to the other? Nothing silly...dogs can't talk.

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Why did I deleted brian from my friend list ? Cuz he had brain tumor.

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i hate it when people repeat the same jokes. i just hate it when people repeat the same jokes.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why did the cop pull over a black guy? The man was breaking the law by going 82 mph in a 70 mph zone, which resulted in a 100 doller fine. Oh and the cop was a racist.

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roses are red, violets are fine, you be the six, and I'll be the nine.

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How do you scare off a ghost? Tell him your ready for a commitment.

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My name's Forrest Gump. People call me Forrest Gump.

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what happened to the slut last time she opened her legs. a bee flew in and stung her. turned out she was deathly allergic. she died a painful death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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