How many sheets did the Asian want on his bed? "You sheet on my bed I kill you!"

what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing his parents stuck him in a mental ward to forget about him because he was mentally challenged.

Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

"Everyone be very quite. Dont say a word or well get eaten by the big, fat stupid ugly fat faced dinosaur in that cave over there." "A word or well get eaten by the big fat stupid ugly fat faced dinosaur in that cave over there." "Look how clever Charles is now were all screwed."

What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

What is black and white and red all over? A pile of dead, bleeding, mixed race babies.

Whats green and gets you really high? A green airplane

Well, its allright then, just tired that is all, leave it be, I mean what if your wife sees it? What will she think?

Q: What did the vomiting man say to his friend? A: BLEEEAAARRRGGHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to his wife? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the waiter in the restaurant? A: BLAAAAAARGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Leonardo DiCaprio? A: BLEEEEAAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the convenience store clerk? A: BLAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to your mom? A: BLAAAARRRGGGHH!!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Barack Obama? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGHHHH!! Q; What did the vomiting man say to the King of Saudi Arabia? A: BLAAAAAAAAAAAEEEAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the bartender? A: BLLLEEEEAAAARRGHHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the funeral home director? A: BLLLEEEAAAARRRGGGHHH!!

What happened to the Jew who went to France? He had a very enjoyable time and visited many of the remarkable landmarks around the country.

Knock knock. Who's there? It's Tyler Oh hey, come in

What do you call a cow painted in red a cat ( PS : i lied about the cow + the paint ! )

What happened when a star exploded? It killed billions of other sentient beings.

A black duck walks into a bar. Duck: "I'll have a beer." Bartender: " How you paying for that?" Duck: "Put it on the tax payers."

what do you call cheese thats not yours? stolen, your under arrest

What would happen if Obama got reelected? The economy would turn to shit.

what did old retarded autistic ginger kid get for his birthday? i dont know thats why i asked

What's sad about a guy jumping off a cliff? The cliff.

like most people my age. im 27

What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

a girl had just gotten dumped by her boyfriend over a text message. she got very sad and became suicidal

Why is the sky blue? You like men.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

My neighbours found out this morning that I'm a serial killer. Knock knock [L]

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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