How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

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I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Impossible, non-living organisms are incapable of moving and babies lack the brain capacity to understand how to screw in a light bulb.

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who holds the world record for longest amount of time on fire? Jim Rome

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Why did the Jew pick up the quarter on the sidewalk? Because he was going to buy a candy bar and was short 25 cents.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

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Why was the black man arrested? He was tried and convicted in a court of law for being an accessory to murder.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was simply wandering around and happened to walk from one side of the road to the other.

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The new Minons film reminds me of most foreign films.. You can't undertand a fucking word they say and they're all yellow

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't handle the stress and pressure of being a duck so it committed suicide by crossing a road and therefor being run over by a car.

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Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

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Two muffins are in the oven They didn't say anything.

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What's funnier than 24? 9/11

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

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A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because chad makes babies cry.

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Roses are red violets are blue i have HIV you should probably get yourself checked...

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Why did the dog chase the cat. Cause he was fking hungry

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What did the frog say to the goat? Nothing frogs can't talk.

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H2O corndogs running around naked CC

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Knock knock who's there atch watch who? bless you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops