Why did the dinosaur rent a DVD in Redbox about a sex? Because he didn't own a Blu-Ray player.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

For 10 cents a day you can feed an African...they eat pennies.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man came home from work and said to his wife im going to kill u

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was the woman worried? She was coughing up blood

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man walks into a bar, orders a drink, drinks it, and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the black man say tovtye chinese man? Hello sir how are you today?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: Whats the best part of a bald pussy? A: After you put the diaper back on you perv!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the computer explode into a million peices? It was thrown off the Empire State building.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you know if a woman is cheating on you? If you catch her cheating on you

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What time is it? 2:47 PM.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's worse than one bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? 3 bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What does a duck have in common? The further it flies the more.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? One is a devotee of the torah, one is a delicious meal.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A panda , a cheetah, a dog, a spider, and an eagle are in Antarctica.. The eagle looks around at the other baffled animals and says " What is this????? This isn't right! I'm so confused!"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats worse than hard cheese?Cheese DUH

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why is the world going to end on 9 December 2014? I don't know why, but IT IS

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock knock Who’s there? The police, your family was killed in a horrific car crash on highway 22 this morning at 10:15 after they collided head on with a truck. They died instantly if it is any conciliation. We will contact you further into our investigation. Dave then poured himself a whiskey and thought about all the good times he and his family shared, teaching Jessica to ride a bike, his and Kate’s honeymoon in Honolulu, playing catch with Jacob. That’s when the full extremity of the situation hit Dave causing him to break into tears he sat and cried for three hours and fifteen minutes. Once he had gotten that out of his system he decided to visit his mother and tell her the horrible news. Knock Knock Who’s there? Dave Dave who? Again Dave breaks into tears as his grandmothers althsiemers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember her sons name. Feeling shattered he decides not to go through the process of explaining who he is and decides to head to the local pub to drown his sorrows. Bartender: hard day? Dave: my wife and two beautiful children were mauled in a head on collision with a truck and my mother can’t remember who I am. Bartender: yeah sure but was it a hard day? Dumbstruck with this ridiculous remark Dave pauses for a moment. The bar is silent only the sounds of bottles clinking and feet tapping on bar stools can be heard. Cigarette smoke hangs in the air. Dave stares at the bartender momentarily then throws his bottle at him send him off balance Dave then grabs the shot gun he knows the bartender keeps behind the counter and shoots the bartender at point blank range. Some customers run scared witless other try to control Dave but only end up in the same position as the bartender. Dave is left standing in a pool of blood. The smell of death hangs in the air with the cigarette smoke. Feeling slightly better Dave heads home and kills himself. Dave was an excellent plumber we will miss him.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops