What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

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How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

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What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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An irishman walks into a bar and drinks 6 pints of guiness. He then drives himself home and savagely beats his wife and children.

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A black guy and a Mexican are sitting in a car who's driving??? The Cops

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Hello

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

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Q:Why was 6 afraid of seven? A:Because seven ate (eight) nine

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

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My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

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1-"What's the worst thing about a joke?" 2-"The stupid punchlines at the end" 1-"No-- when someone dies and can't live to tell it..." (laughter) 3-"What joke you guys laughing at." 2-"None of you're business" 3-"Damn I really wanted to know" 1-"Didn't we all."

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My cat just died.

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What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

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What do Justin Bieber and corn have in common? They are both fruits. Except for the corn.

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Q: Why did the man eat the banana? A: Cuz he was hungry!

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? Because leprechauns don't exist.

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? Three bee stings. Whats worse than three bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Four bee stings.

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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