(two firefighters are climbing an undersea mountain in Brazil) Why do elephants fear the natural causes of silver icecream cones? Because the cars in the parking garage jump the moon while doing jumping jacks.

Why did the black man cross the road? To escape from his owner.

what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

What do you call a cow painted in red a cat ( PS : i lied about the cow + the paint ! )

An Ethiopian fell into an alligator infested river. He ate 7 of them before he got out.

Girl 1- why was 6 afraid of 7? dog- ..................................(doesn't say anything because dogs can't ruff)

A black guy stands outside the Tigers stadium with a cigar and tries to sell tickets... noone buys them... I have a comlplete raging boner and I'm gonna go beat off!

A man walks out of a bar. He didn't bring his driver's license, but managed to do a grand theft auto and unfortunately, crashed on the way home beacuse of a tree. Also, killed 12 people by car

Whats the difference between a boy scout and a jew? A boy scout gets to come home after camp.

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

Two black guys were walking down a street to meet up a local drug dealer. Turns out the black guys were undercover cops who arrested the drug dealer and both recieved awards for finding the criminal.

What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck.

hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

Roses are red, violets are blue shut the hell up, and sit the hell down

what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

What's worse than finding ants in your kitchen? A truckload of dead babies.

Andoni was here

womens rights.

Whats worse then sneezing on someone? sneeze on someone and find out

A mexican, Japanese, and American man are eating lunch one day at work by the window. The Mexican says, "Wow! If I get a taco one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The Japanese man says, "Wow! If I get a bowl or ramen one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The American says" If I get grilled cheese one more time, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The next day, the mexican jumped off because he got a taco. Then, the japanese man jumped off for getting ramen. Then, the American jumped off for getting a grilled cheese sandwhich. At the funeral, the mexican wife said, "Oh if i knew he was gonna jump, I would'nt have packed it." The japanese wife said, "If I knew he was gonna jump, I wouldn't have packed it either." The American wife didn't say anything because she was hit by a bus.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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