How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

how do you confuse a blonde do nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Do you know what would happen if Hitler was still alive today. Nothing he's not.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Hello

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man with no feet... ...then I made fun of him and laughed.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats more dangerous then a man with a gun? two men with guns.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the boy fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Where do you go when you find a fork in the road? To the nearest restaurant.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I cant believe they been together after all that shit. (person ask what) and you say your buttchheeeeks:]

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why is the bowler right handed? He has no left hand.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: So I don't get it. Do women actually like not having penises and testicles? Do they genuinely enjoy it? A: Silly boy. Women ADORE not having penises and testicles. You just can't get your mind around someone having different preferences in anatomy than you.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops