give a man a blow job and he'll come for a second. teach a man to blow job and .... no that just doesn't work

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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I have a joke Who is better, Kobe or Lebron? Kobe. But I lied, that wasn't a joke.

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Whats wrong with me? Your alive.

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What did the black man get for Christmas? Presents

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What Would George Washington say if he were alive to day. why are all the slaves free?

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What did one skeleton say to the other? Nothing... Skeletons don't have vocal cords

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Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

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Q: what do you call a person who's ass is dumb A: a dumbass

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A loving father took his two children to the park for a picnic. while the children went into the lake for a swim he drowned them both

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Why was the mohel touching the little boy's penis? Because that's his job!

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Why did the black man go to portugal? Because he was very hard working and needed a vacation.

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What is the difference between a pig and a crow? One is a animal that Is butchered to be eaten as a wonderful meat product. And the other is a pretentious asshole bird that no one likes.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Q: Why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: Because he was hit by a bus, and then was raped violently. He is currently undergoing psychotherapy.

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Why did Kallum come to Getaway? Because he ran out of hats

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A apple is red a banana is to never mind that joke sucks

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Why did the blonde girl drink lots of water? Because the fat comments got to her and she changed her diet to nothing but water

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Police. She told me she was nineteen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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