What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? Glasses

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the old women do when she found her husband dead? She had a heart attack and died as well.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A moose walks into a grocery store. He goes over to a cashier and says, "On what aisle are the potates?" The cashier replies, "Aisle 4." The moose went to aisle 4 AND THERE WERE NO POTATOES!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

what did the duck with roller skates say to the camel? how are the wife and kids?

thumb_up thumb_down +38

How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the black man fall down the stairs? Because he was blind

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

You know what pansies remind me of? What? A flower

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, what can I get you?" He is then checked into the psychiatric ward at the local hospital, for talking to a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is worse than being paralyzed from the neck down Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How did the man break his arm raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's upside down? umop apisdn

thumb_up thumb_down +4

There was a Jewish man and a German man why was it akward? Because one of them farted

thumb_up thumb_down +4

My Penis is so big. How big is it? If you lay my penis down beside another similarly lengthy object, approximately 10" long, it would most likely surpass the length of the object you chose to measure it to.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the blonde run into a screen door? Because screen doors are difficult to see when one is running at full speed

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the chicken say to the cow? Cluck cluck Knock knock Who's there Chicken Chicken who? Chicken go cluck cluck, cow go moo Piggie go oink oink, how 'bout you?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I wrote a funny joke.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did Joe do after the party? He went home.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a black man helping an old woman cross the road? A concerned citizen.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops