what did the apple say to the orange ? nothing, apples are a fruit and do not have any organs which allow it to be able to talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the ocean say the other ocean? Nothing, bodies of water are incapable of speech.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why was kade sad? he shit himself

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A boy spelled the word "banana" wrong on a spelling test... Points were deducted.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the blonde lose her job as a teacher? Because she was in a sudden and violent car crash in which she died a slow agonizing death.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Whats worse than the holocaust? Ryan

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did I laugh at a joke? Cuz it was funny

thumb_up thumb_down -20

how does chuck norris eat an apple Just like every other person

thumb_up thumb_down -28

whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What's big and messy? A big mess

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why did the chicken cross the road? it doesn't matter, it got turned into KFC before it crossed.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Why was the little boy sad? Because he was raped.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

1)Roses are red... 2)5 black men... 3)dead babies walk into a large crowded bar before dissolving into oblivion at the literary incongruency 4)of the whole situation.... 5)yes chicken got to the other side BEFORE me #)stupid chicken (aka duck rose man help....)

thumb_up thumb_down -48

What's green, has 4 legs and can kill you if lands on your head? a pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Why did Susie fall off the swingset? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-pop? zero if you bite it

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

whats funny about the klu klux klan? nothing is funny at all about it because they cause pain and suffering to afircan amaricans and other ethnic groups.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Steve asks Dave if he likes fish sticks. Dave says yes. Steve asks Dave if he likes to put fish sticks in his mouth. Dave says yes again. They both agree to buy some, prepare them, and eat them, as fish stick are tasty, convenient, and mildly nutritious.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is an object and the black man is a human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: How do you kill a Brazilian Blind Electric Ray? A: Killing endangered species is a crime.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

5 blondes walk into a bar They all leave very intoxicated and die in a car accident shortly after.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops