ROTFL = Reaching out to fellow lossers

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What's black and white and red all over? A penuin that got bit by a sea lion.

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An animal entered my house tonight ! It could only be one thing : A bear or a dog.

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Why was little georgia afraid of the tea cup ? Because she was tripping over the holocaust.

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

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How many black people does it take to tar a roof? Just one. Unless he wants to do it in a shorter amount of time and calls a few friends to help him.

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How do you get out of a car with only a baseball bat and a hammer? Unlock the door.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just shot up a plaground Now Im heading to an orphanage

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What has two legs but can't walk A paraplegic

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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What did the jew say to hitler? SURPRISE!! IM YOUR NEW DADDY

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Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

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What did the cow say to the chicken crossing the road? Moo

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a worm on the other side. And the more pressing question is why do i watch a chicken in my free time

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It's not gay until eyes meet or tips touch.

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Roses are red Violets are blue We decapitated some little children Now I'm in jail too.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Why was Justin Beiber Booed off the stage. Because I spelt his last name incorrectly.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Sally had no arms. Knock knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

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What's clear and looks like water? Water.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sky diving? I don't know, but that sounds like a highly improbable circumstance.

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What do you call a bug stepped on 47 times, then burned to a crisp? Dead

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork. Whats better than catching a baby with a pitchfork? Eating it afterwords.

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Where do babies come from? You fathers penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops