Man 1: Not to be gay or anything, but I really like your shirt, it looks nice on you. Man 2: Not to be gay or anything, but I like men.

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Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

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What do you get when you run from Long Island to New Mexico? Tired.

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what do you do after throwing a water bottle in the trash? Hug a tree

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Where did jimmy go when the bomb exploded.... (Everywhere )

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Kevin and Ramin

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Why would Jesse Ziegenbein and Terran Hansen make a good couple? Because they both smell like shit and are fat as hell

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What is white, average height and cannot jump as high as a black man? A fridge.

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Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because his ears were stapled to the floor.

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A black man got sentenced go prison for stealing a car. He didn't do it.

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Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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Are those two people having sex? Yes, I think they are.

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why did the chicken cross the road it didnt it got eaten

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Roses are red violets are blue. I'm falling in love with you.

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This is a joke about Helen Keller. "Knock knock" "Who's there?

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Why was the boy cold? Because he couldn't afford clothing.

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I was going to write about anti-climaxes but then I didn't.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

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A bear wakes up from hibernation and is hungry. He sees a nearby forest cabin and decides to see if he can find food inside. The bear breaks into the cabin and thus the people staying there frantically run away to call animal control.

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Whats green and gets you really high? A green airplane

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You are joking right?

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How many cows does it take to screw in a light bulb? Either one super cow or none because cows don't even have apposable thumbs

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? Becuase he was hit by a couch.

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What do you call a green dog? A green dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops