How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

What day is it today? Today. Thank you. You're welcome.

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was an attempted suicide. His family left him, he had been in and out of rehab for a terrible cocaine addiction for over ten years, and was still having nightmares about his abusive past.

Hello

How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

Whats more dangerous then a man with a gun? two men with guns.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had bullied 6 and his old pal 21 back in his younger days.

Why did the boy fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms

wife: why are women's feet smaller husband: so they can stand closer to the kitchen sink

What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

whats worse than failing your maths test?

Where do you go when you find a fork in the road? To the nearest restaurant.

I cant believe they been together after all that shit. (person ask what) and you say your buttchheeeeks:]

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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