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What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

Knock Knock! ... Whos there? ... Daisy ... Daisy who? ... Daisy me trolling... ;)

Tilt your screen back .

Roses are red Violets are blue I tryed to hang myself But my neck qad to fat

How did Jesus walk on water? Jesus is God in the form of a man, and he is the only human being ever with the ability to perform miracles

A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

Two men enter a room. Two men and a baby leave the room...

What’s brown and hairy? Brown hair.

If you just read this, You're dead.

Q: What is the proper name for a female dog? A: Well there could be several names it could be a name on the collar in which case please look for the number so it can be returned to its owner. Another possibility is that it is a stray which you should either run for it could have a disease and you should just forget about the name then or take it in as your own and name it.

What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

What is worst than Justin Bieber new album? Being a jew during the holocaust or aids.

"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

Dries Roelvink walks into a bar...

What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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