whats brown and sticky? Doody

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Q. Whats black and red all over? A. A black wall thats been painted red.

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Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What did the rich white student to the poor arabian teacher? good morning Mr.Stevenson.

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Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

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A blonde takes a math test it says find x? She circles x and puts there it is!

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

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What do you call a black man that is on fire? A Man on Fire. The fact that he is black has no relevance in this situation.

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You know what makes me smile? Facial muscles.

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why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

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Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

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Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The guy didn't respond because he was deaf.

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Why did Sally fly off the swing, She had no arms Knock knock *Who's there* Not Sally

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Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No.. Neither have they.

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Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

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How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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