Hickory dickory dock, The mouse ran up the clock, Barbara called the exterminator, Who killed all 10 of them.

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When you aren't feeling well, you should see a doctor like this: https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS5u4lryU5PzmLUKCGEKZgDWMeQ_96VLEKFGu7Wvk-4M7UXHkOXBw

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Q: What should you do when life gives you lemons? A: Life would never really give you lemons...

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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What Did Gretel say to Hansel? Stop having sex with Ariana Grande!

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What happened to Kanye West when he interrupted a KKK ritual meeting? He was promptly hung from a tree for being a negro.

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Now on breaking news!: Man found hanged upside down in a forest with 403 lethal knife-stabs in his back! Policeman: "We have concluded this is indeed the worst case of suicide ever"

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Roses are red violets are blue. I'm falling in love with you.

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What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches

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HAHAHAHAHAHA.....shut up your joke isn't better.

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your know what grinds my gears? when I throw my car into park while going 90 on the highway.

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how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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Whats the difference between a watermelon and babies I don't have a pile of dead watermelon in my basement

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Huffing glue only becomes a problem when you get stuck on it

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse's mother had terminal cancer

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Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

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Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

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Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I tryed to hang myself But my neck qad to fat

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Q: What do you get when you mix root beer with a cloud? A: Nothing, you idiot.

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What did the boy say to the elders at the senior center? Dayum, you're all ugly!

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What do you call a poor man on the side of the rode asking for money? A poor man on the side of the rode asking for money.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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