Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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How did Bella fly? Very badly.

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No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What is the fastest bird in air? NONE WHO NEEDS TO RIDE BIRDS WHEN YOU HAVE AIROPLANES!!!!

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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What is big, round, hairy, black with a little bit of white and red stripes, large feet, small hands, squinty eyes and a purple beret? Nothing. How ridiculous.

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What did the nazi say to the jew? Nothing, he shot 'em

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What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

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Jack, John, Justin, Joseph and Jimmy walk into a bar. They order a pint of beer and start wondering what their names have in common.

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whats big fat round and bounces on the ground? a ball and your mum

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Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

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Why did the bus crash? The driver was a loaf of bread.

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Whats sadder than 20 dead babies nailed to a tree? The Parents...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ... So he didn't get Mono from Janelle.

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LeBron in the fourth quarter

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What's faster than a Nascar Racecar? My thoughts. -Juanita

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Knock knock. Who's there? Insurance. Insurance who? I'm sorry, sir; we can't fix your liver because you don't have any insurance.

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what do you do after throwing a water bottle in the trash? Hug a tree

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A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

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roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

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So the man goes to the doctor and the doctor tells the man " you will have to quit masturbating " So the man asks " why" And the doctor said " so I can examine you "

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops