Q: What is every blonde's ambition? A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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What's worse than getting no presents for Christmas? Ass-rape!

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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And if we met in 1780, I was a white southern aristocratic plantation owner and you were my dark skinned servant lady ... slave Whenever I could get away from the Mrs., I'd go to your shed and then I'd steal you kisses. But let's be serious, I'd still work you full time as a slave, there's a difference between romantic language and a complete disregard for socioeconomic trends.

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The Pope, a Rabi and an Islamic religious leader go into a room and come out with what? A new understanding of each others cultures.

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SEX

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It's caoimhin I wasnt writing cos kane turned my computer off the bel end aodhans been tuping sayin its be the spa.

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What did Hitler say when he was dying? He said, "I'm dying."

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Your mama's so fat that when she farted, gas came out!

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I walk up in the morning feeling like pdidy who's pdidy grab my glasses out the door I have no glasses girl going to hit the city how do I hit the city ugh this confersasion is over song hmmff

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How do you get someone to paid attention to etys You don't, there is no such thing as retys

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Why did'nt the puppy eat it's food? Because it was made up of little bits and peices of it's family.

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Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

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A kid goes into the ocean on a boogyboard and then gets eaten by a shark because the shark thought he was a seal.

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awkward moment when someone pretends to be Mr. Bear and stuffs up his own joke

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Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? A comment saying "I don't think that's an anti-joke"

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have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower? No? well it must have been hiding pretty well.

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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asdasdasdasd

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Knock knock. Whos there. Your landlord. Your landlord who? Bitch, i'm here with your eviction notice you haven't paid rent in weeks

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A blind man walks into a bar. Nobody is surprised.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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