What did the homeless man say to the man who gave him change? “Mmmm I sure do love pocket lint”

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The blonde, brunette and,the red headed girls were at a store. When the blonde says......... im tired let's leave.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

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Roses are bitches Violets are two, your mother is a bigger bitch then both

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What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

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Who in Tyrone's black family gave him presents on christmas? Not his dad.

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A man walks into a bar. He says ouch.

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What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

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John and Marry wanted an abortion. God just laughed And Jesus was born Merry Christmas everyone!

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Q.whats long, black and hard to cut through? A.a line at kfc!

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What's the difference between an orange? A bicycle because a vest doesn't have any sleeves.

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what did charlie sheen do when his ex wife insulted him? he horribly abused her

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

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Why did the sperm cross the road? It didn't, as sperm cells have tails not legs, and are therefore incapable of crossing roads.

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bite me

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a black guy a white guy and a spanish guy walk into a bar, after they left the bar they became good friends despite thier differences.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had celebral palsy.

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Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

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Knock Knock F*ck of I'm watching p0rn

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you know what time it is? Because I don't wanna be late for class and if you told the time, it will surely help me because I'll be able to arrive early at my class not to mention it would greatly improve my punctuality efforts to help me pass the class this semester. Geez, I remember back in middle school there was a guy name Billy Jones and he used to always be late for class. His name was Billy but we called him Bill. Bill was his nickname but his real name was Billy. Anyways, he was always late for class because he would always make the best barbecue ribs in town.... (45 minutes later...) ....and I told Bill, "Man, if you were to just ask what time it was it would greatly help you in arriving to class early." And he was was like "I know but..."And then I cut him off and I said "But nothing. I don't care what kind of barbecue ribs you make, you just can't do that." So there I was, me and him, sitting down and .... (3 hours later...) ...it was awesome. Boy, I remember back in the early 90's when I was at elementary school, it was a stormy weather and we had to go to class. That's when I met Clarissa. She was a really nice girl and I remember there was a time when... (to be continued....)

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Q. What did the chicken do when it lost its egg? A. It went to go look for it. Q. Why was the chicken scared of the duck? A. Because it was chicken Q.Why can't chickens fly? A. Because they don't want to Q.Why can't chickens swim? A. Because they don't want to Q. Whey do chickens cluck? A. Because they want to Q. Why did the chicken jump on top of a car? A. Because it knows how Q. Why doesn't a chicken have hands? A. Because it's not human Q. What did the chicken dream about? A. Chicken dreams Q. Why was the chicken lost? A. Because it wasn't found Q. Why wasn't the chicken afriad of the dog? A. Because the chicken was blind Q. Why doesn't the chicken know how to drive a car A. Because they don't need to

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Have you seen Helen Keller's new car? Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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