Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

Q: Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because his body shut down due to the fact that a bullet went straight through his brain. This happened before he could even order his ice cream.

hers a joke... japanese people

What's worse than celery stuck between your teeth? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

How do u get a dog to sit? Teach it to sit then tell it to sit.

Q. Why did the blonde die drinking milk? A. she was shot in the head by a 22.

A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

An Aussie, a Mexican and an Asian walk into a bra. You read that wrong.

i hate it when people repeat the same jokes. i just hate it when people repeat the same jokes.

What is E.T. short For? So he can fit on ship

I had a terrible childhood. My mom abandoned me before I was born.

What happens when a chicken with a goat have sex? nothing.

My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

What's funny? Nick Sotelo

A man is at the doctor's office and the doctor says to the man: "I'm sorry sir, you have AIDS and Alzheimer's disease." The man says: "Well, at least I don't have AIDS!"

How do you spell orange? O-R-A-N-G-E-U-D-U-M-B-A-S-S

What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

roses are red violets are blue holy sh*t slendermans behind you

What do you call a Koala bear that does not have a chin? A Koala bear.

Why does a squirrel have the tail at the back? Because at the front it's the squirrel.

What do you get if you cross a goat with a horse? Long letters of complaints by animal rights groups

Nebraska the farmland its the only place for me!! I love the corn and the corn loves me!! I live for the corn and the corn lives for me!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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