Why did the fat man get thrown out of an all you can eat buffet? He molested a waitress

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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Stripper went to strip club to ask for work. - It was closed

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A young boy walked into a hardware store and asked for a long weight. Luckily, the shop owner was kindly and brought the child up to speed on the process of hazing.

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I have a really funny joke.

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Knock Knock.

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What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

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SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he is no longer alive.

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What did Robin do in between crime fighting? He had a paper route.

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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A black man, a gay man, and an Asian woman are sitting at a bar. The black man gets a phone call, and after the call all three of them are excited because they are all friends and the black man just got into a good college.

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How many black basketball players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're all rather tall therefore they can reach the light source with ease.

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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What do you call a griraffe and a duck who's favorite colors are both purple? A coincidence in which two unrelated species have the same preference in colorant hues.

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

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Why did Sarah fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.... Knock, Knock, Who's there?: Not Sarah

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

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What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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