What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

your moma is sao fat that she is gay . nope im sorry thats just mean.

What is red and fluffy?... Your teddy bear covered in blood...

how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

What's worse than getting sockson your birthday? Getting cancer on your birthday.

roses are red, violates are blue, you left me for David, I am about to kill you *bam* *bam**bam*

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

I asked my wife to make me a sandwich. I had forgotten she was dead.

A man goes into a butcher shop and says, "I bet you 350 euro that you can't reach that bit of meat," indicating a cut of beef hanging above him. The butcher looks up and says, "No way." The man says, "Why not?" And the butcher answers, "I have a huge gambling addiction, after losing my family to it, this job is all I have left" The man leaves, ruing the silly bet he had placed.

Ask me if I'm a human. Are you a human? Yes.

Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

What do you call cheese that is not yours? It depends on the type of cheese.

My Japanese girlfriend dumped me today...Oh well, theres plenty more in the sea

Why did Mr. Moseley choose to not buy crest toothpaste this month? Because your daughter got an abortion.

What's the difference between a black man and a gorilla? One is a black man and the other is a gorilla.

What did the black guy say to the white guy? Hi!

What do an asian, a black man, and a Mexican all have in common? They all belong minorites that at one time have been outcast by society

whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whroe whore whore whore whroe

What happens when you get your leg caught in an elevator door? Nothing. It is likely that the elevator has advanced sensory components that won't allow the door to close on your leg.

Roses are Red Violets or Red Trees are Red HOLY SH*T MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

A Russian man walks out of a bar looking very sober because he walked out of the bar sober.

How many black people does it take to tar a roof? Just one. Unless he wants to do it in a shorter amount of time and calls a few friends to help him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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