Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I killed your family, and now i'm coming after you.

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YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

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Why is Justin Bieber gay? Justin is attracted to the female gender

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Why didn't the condemned man seek a reprieve of his execution? He forgot.

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What happened to the soldier who go shot while fighting terrorists in the middle east? He died and had a proper funeral back in the town/city that he was born in.

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Where did Suzie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Why did the man hang himself? Because his pistol misfired.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was nailed to the chicken

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I Couldn't afford a hair cut... so i purpposely contracted HIV

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Scenario - Two astronauts are kayaking down the Sahara dessert. Question - How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse? Answer - Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just got AIDS, And soon so will you!

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Wanna know what a hate about instructions? I always get my dick stuck in a ceiling fan.

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Women's rights

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what do you do when your girlfriend gives you head while playing MW3? continue to play while politely asking her sister to make you a sandwhich

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What did the dubstep say? Wub.

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boys go to college to get more knowledge. Girls go to Jupiter to work in the kitchen.

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What's the difference between white and black? White is Caucasian and black is African-American.

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Two guys walk into a bar. But the third one was a duck.

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Knock knock Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interrupting doct- You have cancer.

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Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree? Because shortly before, it's life had ended due to lethal chlamydia, which is not uncommon for a Koala Bear these days. Due to it's loss of thought and therefore muscle control, it lost it's grip on the branch it was holding and naturally gravity took over.

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what did the white guy say to the black guy? nothing because hes racist and hates blacks people

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Why was the black guy hanging from the tree? Because he committed suicide because his wife of 20 years left him, is only child hates him and due to the bad economy is job at wall street was terminated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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