Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had celebral palsy.

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

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a black guy a white guy and a spanish guy walk into a bar, after they left the bar they became good friends despite thier differences.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? Ketchup. Ketchup who? Ketchup-mustard.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Whats black and hangs from trees? To get to the other side.

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What did Hitler say to his wife? It's time to go start the Holocaust.

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What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

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What do you call a 5000 pound gorilla? Obese - gorillas should weigh around 400 pounds.

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You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

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Q. What did the chicken do when it lost its egg? A. It went to go look for it. Q. Why was the chicken scared of the duck? A. Because it was chicken Q.Why can't chickens fly? A. Because they don't want to Q.Why can't chickens swim? A. Because they don't want to Q. Whey do chickens cluck? A. Because they want to Q. Why did the chicken jump on top of a car? A. Because it knows how Q. Why doesn't a chicken have hands? A. Because it's not human Q. What did the chicken dream about? A. Chicken dreams Q. Why was the chicken lost? A. Because it wasn't found Q. Why wasn't the chicken afriad of the dog? A. Because the chicken was blind Q. Why doesn't the chicken know how to drive a car A. Because they don't need to

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Have you seen Helen Keller's new car? Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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Math: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 4 in the other, what do I have?" Answer: "An unreasonable amount of bottles to hold in two hands."

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What's black and white and red all over? The Nazi Flag in WW II

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Guys, I think I'm gonna apply to join the Crips. My SAT score is a 2050, and their average score is a 2200. My GPA, however, is a 4.6, and their average is only a 4.2. Do you guys think that they will take me? Or should I try and apply for the Bloods?

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What's bigger than a horse ? An elephant.

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Why did the nervous man jump out of a plane? He was sky diving.

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What did the man say to his wife while having sex? I don't know.

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What is brown, creamy, and tastes like gravy? gravy.

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Why did Poppy lose at sports day? Because she had a heart attack and died.

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How do you make a girl scout cry? Kill her family.

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Your dad must be a drug dealer because I saw him in your kitchen snorting cocaine

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Q: What would have been the easiest way to stop the second world war without killing anyone? A: Paid Hitler for his art.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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