What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

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How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

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What's the difference between a tree and a lamp? One is a tree, one is a lamp.

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

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Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

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why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

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Why did the fat man get thrown out of an all you can eat buffet? He molested a waitress

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What did the irishman say when he walked into a bar? Ouch

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A black man is trapped inside a bottle, how does he get out? He doesn't it is simply impossible for a human to get trapped inside a bottle.

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, you already told her twice.

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1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

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Twilight is so bad, I read it and personally didn't like it as a book.

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Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

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what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

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Cripples are lame.

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What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back at her

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What do anti-jokes and a can of corn have in common? Both can be stored indefinitely and accessed and enjoyed at will.

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

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Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

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What did the fat confused man say? I am confused.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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