Roses are red, violets are blue shut the hell up, and sit the hell down

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What is green, red, and goes 70 mph? A frog in a blender

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Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

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What do you call a black elephant? An elephant.

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What did the man think as the foul baseball flew rapidly toward his face? Oh man, I thought my tickets were to an NBA game.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Hop in the van or I will rape you

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Why does mcguigan get made fun of ? Because he is gay with Jack Walsh

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Roses are blue Violets are red Sugar are you And so is sweet

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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your momma's so fat that she weighs a lot

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Q: what smells like cheese and tastes like cheese? A: cheese

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Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

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Nero, sure you are okay?

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

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(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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If you have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, Chuck Norris now has $10.

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The 80's called. They need their couch back.

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Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

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what do you when a black guy gives you a muffin. you eat it because he was your waiter.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven eight nine

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A scholarship to a prestigious college that he did not deserve.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. ----- Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What is red and smells like brown feces? Bloody feces

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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