Q: Whats worse than dropping your ice cream? A: Dropping two ice creams. Q: Whats worse than dropping two ice creams? A: The Holocaust. Q: Whats worse than the Holocaust? A: Dropping three ice creams.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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A man with no legs walks into a bar. Just kidding...

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What do you call a black man carrying a T.V? Someone that is helping me move.

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What do you call a cross between a dog and a bumblebee? One messed up lab experiment!

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why did the black boy start crying when he was taking a dump? He thought he was melting

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, you already told her twice.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

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Why did the man cross the street? Because he had to go work.

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What did the man say to the other man? I have a large rod

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

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what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

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If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

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Why can't Hellen Keller watch Spongebob? She doesn't have the proper cable service

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why did the crops die? because a deranged clown sprayed them with liquid nitrogen.

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A quadriplegic walked into a bar, and... oh, whoops, nevermind.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm blind.

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't eat your friends Nose it is!

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Why was Dr Who unable to travel back in time using the TARDIS? Because it's just a television prop. It isn't a real time machine.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

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Matrix if it had been with (as planned at some stage) with Will Smith. Normal Neo: Yes trinity lets find the others. Smith Neo: Yo pretty lady, lets go find them ho`s and chicken and stuff, then we can like go surfin and driving nuts and all that crackin stuff and then we etc etc. Normal Neo:... Smith Neo: You tellin ME this is your world Smith? Im Anderson yo and the one, Im gonna bitchmack you all and then just whoop you all with my master blaster no kidding buddy I have yellow belt Kung fu yo! Neo: We have to do something. Smith Neo; Yo unless we make a real rap video first we cant do the proper stuff you, why is this place all so green, get some colaaas! Seriously first we get carlton and then he dances his crazy dance while I go boyAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZ with my rap ok?

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M Factory Because she repeatedly wrote Ws

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you will like this because i am black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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