What do you call an old man in his underwear with a bag of pepper on his back while licking pebbles off the sidewalk? Senile.

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How can you finally get your girlfriend to scream in the bedroom? Store the bodies there.

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My dog has no dictionary. How does he spell terrible?

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why did the black man shoot himself? because he commited a crime and was sorry for what he had done

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why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

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You!!!!!! Cause your whole existence is just one big joke.

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Mom says my name I reply Coming.

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What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

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What did Jamie get for Christmas? Nothing. Jamie is not friends with Christmas.

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What did Joe do after the party? He went home.

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Why didn't the boy go to the bathroom? His mother was taking a well deserved bath.

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How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to change the light bulb and two to file a lawsuit.

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A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on suicide The librarian gives him permission and he leaves the library with the book in hand.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set the alarm for a reasonable time. - Louis

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A black man walks into a bank with a gun and askes where the safe is then procedes to shoots 3 white men inside of it. Everyone thanks him for stopping the armed bank robbers and he lives out the rest of his life in happiness for he is a hardworking cop and risks his life to save others.

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What do lazy asses get for Christmas? Fat

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What did the waffle say when the black guy started eating him? Nothing, because waffles are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

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Why did the white man buy a new pair of socks? His old ones has holes.

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Roses are red, Metal is gray, Justin Beiber, is very gay

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Lebron traveled

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Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

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Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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what did one gay guy say to the other gay guy? want to suck dicks? (cause that's what gays do)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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