How do you confuse a conspiracy theorist? Tell them the government is not real.

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Albert <3 Hunter

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Two attractive women were getting ready to visit the gym. On the way there, they stopped at a local sports store to purchase some new shorts, and they got it at a good discount price

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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waiter! waiter! theres a fly in my soup! the waiter immediately retrieved a new soup and gave them a 50% discount for the misshap.

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Why is Santa's sack so big? He has a malignant tumour on his testicle. We're all very worried about him.

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What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and my cousins? Nothing.

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Chantelle, I loved you, but you cheated with Johnathan from Church...

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What did one gothic person say to another gothic person? Nothing. Gothic people only cut themselves.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He crossed the road to get to a podium. He then made a lond speech about how chickens should be able to cross a road with out having their motives questioned.

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? we are both lawyers

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Have you heard about the angry chef? He beat his children

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What would Steve Jobs be doing if he were alive today? Dying.

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What do mermaids wear? Nothing. Mermaids don't exist

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A: Where does a cow go on the weekends? B: To the mooooovies? A: No, to the slaughterhouse.

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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Why is the horse gay. He rapes 3 children

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What did the monkey say to the Pope and the Queen? Good evening, Your Holiness. Good evening, Your Majesty,

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why did the man choke at the lunch table. Police there is a banana attacking me what should I do?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

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A white man, a black man, and an Arab man are standing in a room. Who stole your wallet? No one, you suffer from ALS and therefore do not carry a wallet because you have no way in which to use it. To top it all off your medical bills are so high that your family would be financially better if you were to die and your dream of being an entrepreneur is slipping away as you realize that pitching an idea is difficult in a monotonous drone.

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whats worse than walking in to the doctors office and he says you got aids heaps of stuff can be worse but haha you got aids

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Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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