How do you get a blonde's attention? Throw deodorant at her until she looks.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

there once was a man named china who got stuck in yo mamas vagina he escaped through her butthole minus her butt mole and then died a horrible and painful death

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What would you do if your penis disintegrated? Never mate again.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you make a little boy cry? Cut off his legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you find your way out of the impossible maze? You don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Fred fall off the bike? He was a shoe.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Fight fire with with fire! That would be impossible, it'd just make the fire bigger. And probably kill you.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Rose's are red, violet's are blue. Rose's die and viloets are more purple.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the man upset? Both sides of his pillow were warm.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

So A guy named Larry walks into a bar and says, Where is your couch?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the king replied: ‘In silence.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many pancakes does it take to lift up a dog house? Silly goose, alligators can't fly!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you get a mexican to do the yard work faster? Offer him a 5% bonus.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red Violets are blue Most rhymes rhyme But this one doesnt

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A small black boy was walking down the street. He ran into a police officer and the police officer shot him, why? A: Because the officer was racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If life throws you cars, you are probably on LSD.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the girl crying? She prolapsed.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did one cat say to the other cat? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why are you reading these jokes? i have nothing else to do. ok

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock Who's There Mailman Mailman who? Sir, I don't have time for this, take your mail.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock, Knock... Whose there? No one... you have no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops