Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Bob, your neighbor. Okay, come in.

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What did Batman say to When they were heading to the Batmobile Robin get in the batmobile.

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Why did the girl commit suicide? She got raped

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Why did the man go to Jupiter? Because he was on a classified space mission for N.A.S.A.

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How do you keep a dummy in suspense for 24 hours? Tell him his wife suffered from a severe concussion and that he'll have to wait until morning to see if she's okay

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How do you break your fan in the summer You dont its hot and you need it

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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What do you call an animal killed on the side of the road? A false accusation towards an inanimate object that has no other purpose then providing a safe and smooth ride for drives all around the world.

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What happened when Johnny fell off of his bike? He suffered a very tragic and fatal brain hemorrhage resulting in a lower population by a minute percentile that is undetectable by the US Census.

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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What did the dog say to the rabbit? I quite liked Prince's first album.

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Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

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Polly went out for a fag. Then she was raped.

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Sex

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Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

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Vagina Boob

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Scenario - Two astronauts are kayaking down the Sahara dessert. Question - How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse? Answer - Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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What do you do when you find a black man rolling around on the ground? Stop laughing and reload.

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A girl asks a Croatian bartender for a beer, the bartender replies, 'There is no beer in this bar.'

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What scares little children and befriends their parents? A clown

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A man dies from a cat attack. he goes up to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter asks him, " how did you die sir?" The man doesn't reply so Peter says, "cat got your tongue?" "No," he says, "cat got my throat!"

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did you see stevie wonder's new guitar no neither did he

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What do you call a chicken with three eyes? One that flew over the cuckoo's nest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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