My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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Q:Whats yellow and white and sits at the bottom of a pool? A: A baby with slashed floaties Q:Whats red and gory and sits at the top of a pool? A: Floaties with a slahed baby

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A princess kisses a frog to acquire a prince. Then gets arrested for beastiality.

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What did the first Ethiopian say to the other? He asked for some food only to realize that the other one had already starved to death.

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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How do you get a drugged man, a giant sombrero, and a guitar into a Chuck-E-Cheese? You take multiple trips.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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What's better than wining the para Olympics? Wining the Olympics.

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What do you get when you cross a Minotaur with a snowman? A cold mythological creature.

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Two guys walk into a bar.... OUCH

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it

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Who in Tyrone's black family gave him presents on christmas? Not his dad.

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What is frowned upon no matter what country you're in? Sex on a plane.

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what do you get when you you put a knife in a head? a dead body

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What you call it when 8 goes over 4? An improper fraction.

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Knock Knock Jehovah's witnesses!

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A little boy falls into the mud Wanna hear a clean joke? He takes a bath with bubbles Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is Michal Jackson.

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A: Where does a cow go on the weekends? B: To the mooooovies? A: No, to the slaughterhouse.

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Violets are blue and/or violet Roses are red so's my blood, see?

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Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

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Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

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roses are red violets are blue me + you =the perfect 2

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Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

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How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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