i am a slasher, a slasher of prices to get to the other side. poop goo goo gaga

thumb_up thumb_down -35

One night, a man dreams that he is a bird that can fly into outer space. The next day the man finds out that his son is a homosexual.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: What do you get when you cross Rebecca Black and a day of the week. A: a stupid song called FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry time for lunch :D

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Your mum is such a slut, I'd reccomend she seeks psychiatric help, as her deviant promiscuity is clearly a phsical manifestation of some deep rooted psychological disfunction. We all wish her well.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What happened to the kids bike? It broke when he got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +10

whats the same between a mouse and an elephant? They are both small except for the elephant

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Reading re-posts of classic anti jokes posted by lonely teenagers.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" *No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" *convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

thumb_up thumb_down +8

That awkward moment when you get in the van and there's no candy.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

how do you know if a fish is gay? you ask it

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac over off a cliff? A Cadillac seats 5

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is the answer to life, universe and everything? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between an apple and a banana? One's an apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops