What happens when an alien goes out in the rain It gets wet

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I like my women like I like my coffee. Hot, black, liquid, and in a cup.

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how do you get a dog to stop barking? you hit it with a stick.

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Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

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A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender says: "Where would you like to sit, gentlemen"?

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a gay man walks into a bar the bartender says "what'll it be today" he asks for a beer the bartender comes back with a beer because thats what he asked for.

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why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

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Dane Cook makes a joke.

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how do you poke a chinese person in the eye? with a credit card!

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why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

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What do you get if you mix a baby with a blender? A prison sentence.

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Q: What did the chicken cross the road? A: "Why did the chicken cross the road?" is a common riddle or joke in several languages. The answer or punchline is: "To get to the other side." The riddle is an example of anti-humor, in that the curious setup of the joke leads the listener to expect a traditional punchline, but they are instead given a simple statement of fact. "Why did the chicken cross the road?" has become largely iconic as an exemplary generic joke to which most people know the answer, and has been repeated and changed numerous times.

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Why couldn't the blonde have kids? She had Ovarian Cancer.

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How do you kill a diabetic? Take away their insuline

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Chris is hairy

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Sex with helen keller.

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why did the horse drop its ice cream Because it doesnt have thumbs so it cant hold the ice cream

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What do you get when you cross a Lion and a Shark? You would likely get trouble, seeing as its both animals are quite dangerous and crossing even one of them is ill advised.

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

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What did Marshawn Lynch say? Yeah

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I used to work as a human cannonball. I thought I was going to get fired, however during one performance the trajectory was miscalculated and I ended up severely damaging my spinal cord. I now work from home as a IT consultant. It's depressing.

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Why did two rhinos engage in vigorous sex? They were horny.

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Mother: "George what happenend to your pet rock?" George:"I dont know." Mother:"Here! I found your pet rock. It was in the same place it was before!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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