Billy wanted a toy for Christmas. Sadly, Billy died before Christmas.

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what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

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Q:What do you call a black man that got to the moon and back in a space rocket? A: A golfer, he is a pro golfer now!

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Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

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how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

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*The doctor walks in* Knock knock. Whos there? Doctor. Doctor Who?

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

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Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

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What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

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What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

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What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender.

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Did you know that... Billy had a heart attack, it was sad. Now you know!

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People shouldnt make fun of holocaust jokes..my grandpa died cause of it! he fell off the gaurd tower

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When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

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i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

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Q: Why did the bear fall out of the tree? A: Because humans tranquilized him, brought him to an animal shelter 100 miles away from his home. Then after he got out he got hit by a car and died. PETA is watching.....always

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What's the difference between Hurricane Sandy and Barrack Obama? One is a catastrophic event that resulted in thousands of deaths, countless power outages and homes destroyed, and millions of dollars in damages, and is said to be one of the worst tropical storms to ever hit the nation. The other is the President of the United States, who has put in an unbelievable amount of effort to fix our economy, create jobs, and make America a better place to live. So as you can see, the two things are extremely different. One must wonder why this question was even asked in the first place, as one is a human being and the other is a storm, making any common traits between them almost non-existent.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

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What do you call a person who walks but doesn't run? A power walker What do you call a person who runs but doesn't walk? Someone running to the nearest bathroom holding there crotch.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Q: There's a Brit, Kenyan, German, and Colombian in one room. Where are they? A: Public School

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What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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