What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my Tractor?"

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Ask me if I'm a tree "are you a tree?" No

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

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What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

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A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under "Number of children," she wrote "10," and where it said "List names of children," she wrote "Leroy." When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: "Now here where it says "List names of children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children." "Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman. "That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker. The Black woman said, "Oh, den I uses the middle names."

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One day there was 3 bears, a papa bear, a mama bear, and a baby bear. They were out swimming when suddenly a girl comes over to their house and tries to sit down. She sits on the big chair and says "too big", then she sits on the little chair and says "too small" and then sits on the medium chair and says "just right". Suddenly, the bears come back. Papa bear: "somebody has been sitting on my chair!" Baby bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair too!" Mama bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair, and she still here!" The girl says "Hi my name is Goldilocks." After about few minutes introducing each other, they ate dinner and they all had a great time.

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What's worse than finding a spider hidden in your sheets? The spiders being followers of the devil then sucking out your soul and giving it to the devil while your body gets stretched and you die a very painful death.

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What's worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? Recognizing the baby as your missing child, and finding the corpse of your dead wife next to it.

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What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

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What did Anne Frank say to the German Officer? Nothing. She had to keep quiet in a cramp attic in order to survive.

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Camon is to Jerry Sandusky as Cole Ryder is to Will Higgins!

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A man walk's into a bar with a monkey, I fotgot the rest of the joke. Your mom is a whore.

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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In soviet Russia...things are different

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3 Men walk into a bar, they all order up a drink. And then they paid their tabs and left.

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Why did the man hit the little boy? His brakes failed.

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Yes

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What did the biker do when he heard about Kony 2012? He became a social activist and did his part by contributing to the cause.

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Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "Never-mind that, you've got AIDS.

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what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

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how do you get a dog to stop barking? you hit it with a stick.

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WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

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Wanna hear the orphan joke knock knock who's there? not you parents

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Clearly the only answer is because he's blind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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