Q: What is every blonde's ambition? A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was very unhealthy, and had a heart attack attempting too

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What is white, average height and cannot jump as high as a black man? A fridge.

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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And if we met in 1780, I was a white southern aristocratic plantation owner and you were my dark skinned servant lady ... slave Whenever I could get away from the Mrs., I'd go to your shed and then I'd steal you kisses. But let's be serious, I'd still work you full time as a slave, there's a difference between romantic language and a complete disregard for socioeconomic trends.

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What's up? Up Adverb: Toward the sky or a higher position. Preposition: From a lower to a higher point on (something); upward along: "I climbed up a flight of steps". Adjective: Directed or moving toward a higher place or position: "the up escalator". Noun: A period of good fortune. Verb: Do something abruptly or boldly: "she upped and left him". Synonyms: adverb. upward - upwards - aloft - above - upstairs - overhead preposition. on - upon - over - along - with adjective. rising noun. ascent - rise - upgrade verb. raise - enhance - increase - lift - rise

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What's worse than getting no presents for Christmas? Ass-rape!

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Hey I've got two stories. This one and the next one.

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Your mother is so fat that she has a very big butt and large breasts, which is quite attractive to some men, especially if they are open-minded.

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A priest, a rabbi, and an iman all walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, some kind of joke? Muslims don't drink beer."

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A black man walks up to a white man, and the black man says YO DIGGITY DAWG WASSAP FO DRIZZLE PLAYA BEEP BOBOTY BOP. And the white man stands there, confused as to what the black man said.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? Just in case he gets a hole in one! -LEts Go Mets P.S the comment below is also very stupid

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What do you call a Jew with 20 Pounds of Pennies? A rich man

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How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

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Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

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A guy dared his friend to jump off a bridge for 10 bucks. His friend, fearing for his life did not jump.

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What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

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what do you call a sexy feminist? nothing, there are none

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Why has 8 wheels and costs more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

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Obama One Big Ass Mistake America

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I tried to play soccer a long time ago. I didn't score and managed to get red card... Then I realized it was not my thing

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What's better then 100 dead babies in a barrel 1 dead baby in 100 barrels

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"i once had a rabbit named socks.he was a funny little fellow until one day he got over excited and...well..." "did he...i mean..you know..did he...?" "what?lose a claw,throw up, sit in a pan of warm water until he calmed down?" "yeah! :)" "yes...but then he died."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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