what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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A man walks into a bar............. The bar explodes and everyone dies

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Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Chris. Chris who? Wow, I thought we were better friends than that.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? The IRS. All your base are belong to us.

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What's wet and pink? Bubblegum!

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why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

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two peanuts were walking down the street one was assualted

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house. "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "The chicken"

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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Why do you never want to party with Lindsay Lohan? Because she's a drug abuser and a terrible influence.

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You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

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Why did anna stop wanting to build a snowman? Beacuse she died of cancer.

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HA HA HA HA HAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHYHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA - Bomber

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas. A new vest and a puppy because his father got a promotion and a much higher pay raise.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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Why did the black guy get a boner? The nitric oxide levels in his trabecular arteries and smooth muscle of his penis rose, causing his arteries to dilate and therefore enlarging his penis.

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what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

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1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

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whats the same between a mouse and an elephant? They are both small except for the elephant

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Hey look i just made a jo... shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops