A couple elopes in Vegas. The next morning while eating breakfast the woman tells her husband she thinks it was a mistake, using her alcoholism as an excuse for her inability to make practical decisions. The man proceeded to cry and called his attorney to arrangea proper divorce.

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What do you call a woman when you're inside her? Mom.

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What did the doctor say to his patient with cancer? "You have cancer...".

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

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why was the woman silent? she lost the ability to speak in a tragic boating accident in which her vocals chords were damaged thus making it incapable for her to utter anything

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Roses? are red Violets are blue, Kangaroos like Oranges, Poems suck, Refrigerator.

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What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue,All you HATERS of J. Bieber, Go suck your MOTHER.

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how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? TOO FUCKING MANY

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Why was six afraid of seven? A: He just does.

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What did the black boy wear for Halloween? A costume.

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Why is the boy sad? He was getting bullied so he later on talked to a teacher and the bully and him settled their differences. The bullied boy still wishes the bully to go to hell.

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How do you mess with Hellen Keller? Re-arrange her furniture.

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A guy walks into a doctor's office and says: "Doctor! Doctor! You gotta help me! One day I'm a teepee, and the next day I'm a wigwam, and then the next day I'm a teepee, and then the next day I'm a wigwam again. The doctor says: Sir, we've been over this 100 times! You have stage 4 pancreatic cancer...

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how do you get a scouters power level to 9,000? power levels dont exist in real life therefore cannot reach 9,000

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What do a van and a pencil have in common? You can write with both, except with the van.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van.

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A terminte walks into a pub and ask is the bar tender here?

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What did one ginger say to the other We have red hair

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Q: How do you keep an idiot in suspense? A:

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What's worse than hitting your thumb with a hammer? Getting your spine ripped off

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What did one jew say to the other? Hello.

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A guy reads the bible Another guy shouts "spoiler alert, the main character dies"

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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