What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

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Knock knock! I'm in the shower, i'll be there in 5 minutes

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What did the man say when he saw a alien? "Look its a Alien"

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why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

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how many people does it take to change a light bulb....... none..................its stilll bright

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your face belong in the zoo, don't worry I get there too, not in the cage, just visiting you :)

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What is the one thing you can never steal back? Your viginity.

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What's worse than seeing another antijoke with "The Holocaust" punchline repeated? The Holocaust.

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Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

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What's worse than watching paint dry or grass grow? Watching paint dry on grass.

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josh moran where your Bluetooth gone?

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Why does the girl continue to cry repetently everyday? Because she found out she was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

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The last head of Satan, is oh but what you blamed upon Your faults, Your sins. The thoughts of Madness written here, yet potent enough to cloud Your thoughts.... Wait not forever children of man, as eternity is at its peak, the false prophet IS AMONGST US! But what side is he on? The last ditch attempt to protect humanity from a raging jealous vengeful God? Say it is not so! Say that darkness is not the only thing standing against you and eternal damnation... ...Yet you killed his only true child, you stole his name, his essence... Even his Identity... ...Even the Angels white are powerless to stop him, Your maker, Your true maker, for what is the grief of the holy, from which you took his only son... ...As you celebrate once and once anew... :...Merry CHRISTmas, to all of those of you all now left behind... Celebrate it well, as before the world reaches 2017, is where it all ends...

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What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

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Have you heard of the Armenian genocide? No? Me neither.

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

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Why did the boy fall over? Because he got hit by a car. Follow forever.art7 on Insta.

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There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

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Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

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Why didn't gram-pa give his grandson a Birthday present? Because he had Alzheimer's and forgot about him.

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If you just read this, You're dead.

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How many types of pure breed dogs are there in the world? 701

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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