Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

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Dyslexia ruels!

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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what's funny about war? nothing!

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What's the difference between a black man and a white man? The black man eats chicken.

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AIDS is not a lifestyle it's a choice - and you chose wrong.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Someone left the gate open.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he is quite wealthy.

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What's brown and seven feet tall? A door

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I will grant you one wish, but it sure as hell isn't coming true!

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Why did the woman have an abortion? Because she was raped at the age of 17.

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Why was the black man killed? He committed a serious crime and was issued the death penalty.

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What did the litlle boy get for christmas? The toy which he could only dream about. His father got cancer.

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What happened when the Hispanic man dropped his Wollet? He picked it up

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Why was the little boy laying on the ground unconscious? because I threw a fridge at him.

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Yo mama so fat, her wand is a Slim Jim

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A blonde walks into a bar; she orders and enjoys her drink and then leaves with her thirst quenched.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs? An amputee

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Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

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how do you get a dog to stop barking? you hit it with a stick.

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There is a law in california that says that women are not allowed to drive with house coats.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The IRS, we're taking your house. This is a vacation notice, please be out of the property in 30 days. Have a nice day.

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What do you get when you cross the ocean with a dinosaur? Wet.

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So this guy was making a sandwich...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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