Ask me if I'm wearing pants. Are you wearing pants? Yeah.

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Whats worse than going to jail for the rest of your life? Going to jail naked for the rest of your life.

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Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a brick at him.

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Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

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Why did the naked blonde crossed the road? Because she a man

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Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 encountered 7 in the Vietnam War where he killed 6's brothers, leaving him scarred. 6 has countless nightmares due to the numerous visions that reminisce that situation in great deal. Also, 7 had a big hook on his hand, which was very scary.

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what is the difference between hitler and the jews? They had different religions

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I can't stand being in a wheelchair.

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My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

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who is an indian that can not shoot a bow and arrow? David

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What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Jimmy comes home from school one day and goes to his mother. "Mommy, guess what?" "What?" "I had sex with my teacher today!" Naturally after hearing such news the mother gets appalled and tells her husband. "Well, that's my boy" he says "Now that your a man Jimmy we're going to go out and get some drinks tonight be ready in a half an hour." So they arrive at the local bar "Wait here son, you can sit down and save us a table and I'll go get the drinks ok?" "No dad I think I'll stand" "..why? What's the matter son?" "My butt hurts"

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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Q: What should you do when life gives you lemons? A: Life would never really give you lemons...

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My closet is like the wardrobe to Narnia, accept my closet isnt a portal into a magical world.

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A baby boy and a baby girl are much alike they both taste good

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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What's the difference between dead babies and the holocaust? A lot.

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What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

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Knock knock. Who's there. To get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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