How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did the man beat his wife? why not?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are Black Violets are black I am colorblind, are you to?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red Violets are blue Im really bad at poetry Your mums a whore

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Dries Roelvink walks into a bar...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you get when you cross a hamster with a zebra? A genetic abomination that you should put out of it's misery.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a blonde driving the wrong way down the freeway? Well that depends on what her parents named her, or whether she happens to have a nickname of sorts.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who is driving? They take turns due to the fact it is a long trip.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A farmer accidentally trips his wife. She falls down the stairs and the farmer is quickly arrested for murder.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Who in Tyrone's black family gave him presents on christmas? Not his dad.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did Jimmy not go to school? Because Jimmy, along with his family, were killed in a horrible house fire. Knock Knock? Who's there? Not Jimmy...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops