A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

What is the proper response when someone says "My family died in a car crash"? Lol fail

sky silverstein

Roses are red Violets are blue Urine is yellowish and shit is usually brown... That's it, I was just remembering the colors of some stuffs

Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

Roses are Black, Violets are Black, I am Ray Charles

why didn't sue come to her son's baseball game? because he doesn't play baseball, he lost his arms in a horrible plane crash. besides, sue died in that accident anyway.

So, Ryan Dunn was driving under the influence of alcohol. The result of this action proved to be fatal for both Ryan and his passenger; who happened to be his close and personal friend.

A young boy walked into a hardware store and asked for a long weight. Luckily, the shop owner was kindly and brought the child up to speed on the process of hazing.

Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

Hurr durr, I shit my pants.

You're so sweet I have diabetes

What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac over off a cliff? A Cadillac seats 5

How did the black man burn down the house. He threw a flaming match through the window.

Q Why did the chicken cross the road A Nobody knows why because nobody is psych

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

Why were my arms so tired after I flew in from the coast? Because the stewardess, god rest her soul, failed to latch the door securely.

What do you call a Muslim flying an airplane? A pilot, what did you think it was? F**king Racist dumbass

Twilight is so bad, I read it and personally didn't like it as a book.

How did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. On its way there, he got hit by a bus.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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