How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, she was probably lonely.

How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well, neither has he.

How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

What should you do if reading the antijokes on this site makes you collapse with laughter? There is no need to worry about this because it won't happen.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was Hellen Keller.

knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

What did the black boy get for Christmas? A bike his parents bought him.

a man checks his mypsace

Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Caner.

Your dad is so old, he should go to a nursing home.

Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they take the left and get hit by a semi and all die.

Why do gingers get mad when people call them gingers? Because it hurts their feelings

A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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