Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Q: What is the proper name for a female dog? A: Well there could be several names it could be a name on the collar in which case please look for the number so it can be returned to its owner. Another possibility is that it is a stray which you should either run for it could have a disease and you should just forget about the name then or take it in as your own and name it.

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Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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whats orange and cant talk? an orange

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Why wouldn't joey pay attention in class? Because he was being raped by a grizzly bear.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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What is worse than the holocaust paying taxes

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Why do black people like Black Friday? They can get fairly expensive appliances for a very reasonable price.

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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what did the cat say to the potato? meow

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Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

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rodents are bed violents are glue i have lysdexia and short attention spa

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Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

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What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

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That was totally mean! I mean I was in no way going to say any of that to you! Especially not the last part, sorry that must have been part of the suggestion or something, I barely ever tell myself stuff like that, I mean stop it okay? I mean I totally read it and all but I was all like "I am notnot typing that" please stop it, its humiliating.

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If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

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Bob: Do you know the difference between beer and women? John: No Bob: Oh

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Holocaust jokes are in bad taste, Anne Frankly I won't have any of it.

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Knock knock Who's there? To To whom? No, its To Who now, since I married

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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